Live or Die
by ladyjedinovember11
Summary: November is back, but there is depression in her future and death. She hides a secret that only she knows, but will it kill her? sequel to Open or Closed
1. Consequences

Live or Die

Allie Helms

Chapter One

Consequences

I've only got five words for God: You'll never take me alive!

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away . . .

War! The Republic is crumbling under attacks by the ruthless Sith Lord, Count Dooku. There are heroes on both sides. Evil is everywhere.

In a stunning move, the fiendish droid leader, General Grievous, has swept into the Republic capital and kidnapped Chancellor Palpatine, leader of the Galactic Senate, and Lady Jedi Master November Rose Lee Skywalker, leader of the Republican special forces . . .

As the Separatist Droid Army attempts to flee the besieged capital with their valuable hostages, two Jedi Knights lead a desperate mission to rescue the captive Chancellor and fellow Jedi Knight . . .

There I sat in a room on General Grievous control ship with Chancellor Palpatine. His quick but constant gazes crawling through my skin, and surrounding my thoughts with anger. My peaceful but ever steady eyes were looking out across space at the battle-taking place. Two Jedi Cruisers zoomed pass the window and I felt Anakin's never ending loving aura surround me. He was on his way, he was going to take me away from the traitor I was sharing a room and capture with.

"You would make a fine, and powerful Sith," Palpatine said looking at me again.

I didn't turn to look at him, and I covered my thoughts, "As well as that sounds I like being a Jedi better. You know I have the cool lightsabers, awesome spot on the Council, and my husband.

"Not for long," he said under his breath.

I snapped my head towards him, "What?"

"I said not for long," he said smiling one of those evil delicate smiles he had.

I couldn't stand him for long. _I hope Anakin comes soon, _I thought.

"You would be easy to turn to the Dark Side. I mean with your past. What did you say just before your mother died?" He asked.

He was pushing all the right buttons, "Shut up!"

"Oh! That's right. I hate you," he said smiling again.

I looked over to him, "If you know what's good for you Sidious I would watch your tongue."

"You're just all talk Jedi scum," he said.

I looked over to him, "And I don't think so. I don't want any power, and if I did have power I would use it for good not evil."

Just then the door burst open and Anakin and Obi-wan walked through the door. "Well hello prince charming," I said greeting Anakin.

He laughed, "Ah a damsel in distress. May I be of service?"

"Yes, did you bring my back ups?" I asked.

He held out two lightsabers in my hands, "Right here like you asked love."

"Good. Now . . . um . . . Anakin," I said nodding my head to my restraints.

"Oh yeah!" he said shutting off the vibrant purple handcuffs.

"Thanks poppit," I said. I took the two lightsabers and clipped them to my belt of my black and white jumpsuit.

"Chancellor Palpatine are you alright?" Obi-wan asked.

Palpatine put on a scared look and mumbles a couple words, "Count Dooku."

Just then I looked up to the elevator doors, and saw Count Dooku standing in front of them. The two men reached for their swords, but I put my hand up, "This is personal."

"November, don't get overwhelmed," Obi-wan said cautioning me.

I turned to him and put a small smile on my face, "Oh but Master Kenobi I am me. What do expect? Yoda." I laugh a little. "Ah Dooku we meet again."

"What! She can't take on a Sith Lord," Palpatine said looking worried.

I turned and glared at him. "Chancellor Palpatine, Sith Lords are her specialty," Obi-wan said smiling.

I turned to Anakin, "I'm going in. Don't try to help unless I ask." He nodded.

Dooku jumped down to the main level, and looked at me, "I've been looking forward to this."

"My power has increased since the last time we had this little conversation, Dooku," I said reaching for my lightsabers, and igniting them.

He smiled igniting his own blood red sword, "Good. Twice the pride, double the fall . . ."

"Much arrogance you have Count Dooku, but you're missing one thing: self-confidence," I lunged forward, and our lightsabers met. We danced in a duel of dark and light sides. Dooku's face growing angrier as we did. He was older, and weaker. His knowledge of the force dwindled since the last time. I force pushed him back upon the steps, but he got up before I could bring my lightsabers upon his body. Our intricate step and dance paused as we circled each other.

"I sense fear in you, November. You have hate, you have anger, and you use them. Pity you're not a Sith," Dooku said as we did.

A sly smile slipped across my face, "Yes, but unlike your anger I can control mine. It's somewhat a law of balance inside me. It helps me see that Sith like you are weak and have no true knowledge of the force, as I do."

"And how did you receive a knowledge so keen," he asked.

I lunged forward and he blocked my attack, "I have lived a life of true darkness." He hissed and pushed me off. He was caught off guard by my remark and I quickly cut his lightsaber in half. He fell to his knees and I put my lightsabers in a shape of an 'x' across his thick neck. "This is where you ask God for forgiveness," I said.

"You don't have the guts," he said.

I moved the lightsabers closer, "Say that again."

He gulped, "You don't have the guts." I moved my lightsabers and his head fell to the floor.

I looked over to Palpatine, "I guess I'm not all talk after all."

"Rose, you shouldn't have done that it's not the Jedi way," Anakin said

I laughed, "Anakin, since when have I ever done anything the Jedi way?" He gave me a hard look of unhappiness. "Plus he was a traitor to the Jedi Council, a leader of the enemy, and not to mention very annoying. I had to kill him," I said walking up the stairs to the door.

"That is so true," Obi-wan said.

Anakin un-cuffed the Chancellor, and came up and stood beside me, "But still."

"Don't worry, Anakin. I know what I'm doing," I said. The elevator doors opened, and we stepped inside. "So, how is Artoo doing?" I asked.

"Well, Artoo has been . . ." Obi-wan began.

Anakin looked sternly at him, "No loose wire jokes . . . He's doing the best he can."

Obi-wan looked at me. "Did I say anything?" he asked.

I shook my head. "He's trying!" Anakin protested.

"I didn't say anything," Obi-wan said.

I chuckled. "What?" they asked in unison.

"You two fight like an old married couple," I said. They just looked at each other and shrugged.

The elevator stopped, and opened up. We ran down the hallway to the second elevator. Anakin started to push the button, but the elevator didn't do anything. "The elevator's not working," Anakin said.

"Honey?" I said.

He turned around, "Yes."

"Thank you for stating the obvious," I said touching his cheek.

He turned back around, "Yes, now." He took his comlink, "Artoo?' I heard small beeps and whistles coming from the other end. "Activate elevator 3224." Just then the ship started to shift, and the elevator doors opened. We all jumped up to the doorway of the elevator shaft. "Artoo . . . do you copy? Artoo come in!"

"I guess we'll just have to run down it then," I started to run like the elevator shaft was a long hallway. I stopped and looked at them, "Oh come one its not that bad." I started to run again, but this time instead of just hearing my feet on the metallic floor I heard Obi-wan, Anakin and Palpatine's too.

Anakin came running beside me, "I didn't know you could run so fast.

"I can't I just feel like running right now, " I laughed, and he joined in.

A few moments later the ship shifted again, and we started to slide. Anakin quickly caught some wires that were sticking out randomly in the shaft. I quickly grabbed onto his shoulders, and Obi-wan grabbed my legs as Palpatine grabbed onto his.

We heard a noise from above, and we looked up to see the elevator had been reactivated. "I need a vacation," Obi-wan said.

"Artoo, Artoo! Shut down the elevator!" Anakin yelled into the comlink.

I kissed Anakin's cheek, "Too late! Jump!"

We all jumped in unison. Just then the ship shifted again, and we hit the side of the shaft, and started to slide. "This is so much fun," I said sliding.

"You're kidding?" asked Obi-wan.

"Nope," I said shortly. He didn't say anything else.

The ship shifted again, and we were back to falling. "I so hope that this hunk of friggin junk finds which way it wants to shift cause I am getting so tired of this," I said.

"Grappling hooks," Anakin said throwing his grappling hook against the wall. Obi-wan and I followed suit, and Palpatine quickly grabbed onto Obi-wan. All the elevator doors opened and we swung through one to solid ground.

"Solid ground, I love you," I said jumping up and down.

Obi-wan looked at me, "Okay lover girl lets get going. There has to be someway out of this piece of metal."

We all started to run down the hallway, but stopped by the ray shields. "Ray shields," Anakin said.

I looked at him, "Again with stating the obvious."

"Wait a minute, how'd this happen? We're smarter than this!" Obi-wan said out raged.

Anakin turned towards him, "Apparently not, master. This is the oldest trap in the book . . . Well . . . I was distracted"

"So was I," Obi-wan said folding his arms.

They both looked at me, "Oh so all of the sudden it's my fault. Obi-wan you're the master, we're just heroes."

"I'm open for suggestions," Obi-wan said.

Why don't we let them take us to General Grievous? Perhaps with Count Dooku's demise, we can negotiate our release," Palpatine asked.

We looked at each other and laughed. "I say patience," Anakin said.

"Anakin I know I told you patience is rewarded, but right now it's not," I said.

Obi-wan looked at him, "Patience is that your plan is it?"

"Yes, Artoo will be along in a few moments and he'll release the ray shields . . ." Anakin said.

And as if right on cue Artoo came skidding across the floor, and smashed right into the wall. "See no problem!" Anakin said.

Suddenly several destroyer droids appeared, surrounding us, and taking us as prisoner.

"Don't move, dummy," one of the droids said to Artoo, but Artoo didn't listen, and he zapped him. "Ouch! Zap this," the droid said kicking Artoo over.

"Have a plan B?" Obi-wan asked.

We were taken hostage, and lead up to the control room. As we entered I just had to open my mouth, "Wow now pile of junk you got here."

"Shut up," the guard said pushing me. I glared back at him.

They then lined us up in front of General Grievous. His mechanical face screwed in disgust as he looked upon us. He had a hacking cough, and his alien eyes showed much hate for the republic. I reached into his mind with the force, and found all the hate he consumed blocked like a bad artery about to cause a heart attack. "Oh yes. General Kenobi, the Negotiator. We've been waiting for you. That wasn't much of a rescue," the mechanical voice of Grievous was cold and discerning as it addressed Obi-wan.

Obi-wan stuck his chin out with pride, "That depends on your point of view. Ha!"

I shook my head. "And Anakin Skywalker . . . I was expecting someone with your reputation to be a little older," he said moving to Anakin, and he was hacking wildly.

"No Grievous do you have cold, or is it just tuberculosis?" I said.

That got his attention. "Oh and the one I've been waiting to meet. Lady Master Jedi November Rose Lee Skywalker, aren't you the one with the troubled past. You know the one where you killed a man, and then you tried to commit suicide?" he asked. His cold steely voice rattling my bones.

"I would love to stay and continue this battle of wits with you, but you are obviously unarmed," I said getting into his face, or at least as far as I could reach.

"Jedi scum!" he said turning around then back around again.

Obi-wan looked down the line at me, "November, try not to upset him. He has a stressful job to do."

"Sorry," I said.

Just then a guard carrying our lightsabers stepped in front of Grievous and handed them over. "Your lightsabers will make a fine addition to my collection. Especially the two infamous lightsabers of Lady Jedi November," he said having a grin behind his mask.

"Bite me!" I said.

Obi-wan got serious, "Not this time, and this time you won't escape."

"Artoo!" Anakin said. Artoo extended all his bells and whistles just to make a distraction. He was a trooper. I turned around, and Anakin cut my restraints. I used the force to bring my lightsabers to me, and I ignited them and held them in a 'x' above my head.

"Guess who is going down?" I asked. "It's Sith kabob time!" Anakin smiled.

General Grievous two bodyguards came after me, and attacked we with electro staffs. "Rule number ninety-six," I said. "A hero is only good as his weapon, and yours is not good." I slashed quickly at one of them, and he fell to floor with a clang of his metal body. I came back to back with Obi-wan. "So, we are the best fighting pair in the galaxy right?" I asked him.

"Yup," he said. "Why do you ask?'

I extinguished my lightsabers, and he followed suit. Our attackers looked confused. I held him by the collar. "You go that way, and I'll go this way," I said movie my head in the directions.

"You go that way and I go this way?" he asked.

I nodded, "Yes." He nodded. We split apart and took on each other's attackers. We did a number of martial art moves, and ended up facing each other. We did a secret handshake. "Yup! Still the best fighting team in the galaxy," I said as he knocked hips.

Within a matter of minutes Anakin, Obi-wan and I have finished cutting down the droids, and now we were taking on Grievous. "You lose General Kenobi," he said.

Just then one of the pilots called down to his commander, "This is breaking up!"

"We've run out of time!" he responded. Just then he hit the window with the electro staff he had been holding, and we all grabbed onto the control panels. General Grievous slipped out of the window along with everything else not nailed down, and a shield came across the window trapping us in.

Anakin quickly made it to the navigator's chair. "All the escape pods have been launched,' h said.

"Grievous. Can you fly a cruiser like this?" I asked.

He looked at me, "You mean, do I know how to land what is left of this thing?"

"Well, yes of course," Obi-wan said.

Anakin moved to a different chair, and the ship jolted forward. "Is it bad doctor?" I asked.

"Under the circumstances, I'd stay the ability to pilot this thing is irrelevant. Strap yourselves in," he said making his diagnosis. I moved to a chair right beside Anakin. I had never flown anything before except a speeder, but that's it so I just sat, and waited for orders. "Grab that keep us level," Anakin said to me. I quickly grabbed a lever, and did what he told me.

We then heard something break off of the ship. "We lost something," Anakin said again stating the obvious. I mean I loved my husband dearly, but he had got to stop doing that.

"Not to worry, we're still flying half a ship," Obi-wan reminded us. A couple minutes passed, and we entered the atmosphere of Courscant. We were on fire, when Obi-wan spoke, "Landing strip straight ahead."

"We're coming in too hot," Anakin said still concentrating on the switches and things.

I looked around, "Is that bad?" They just ignored me.

We then crashed into the landing platform, and Obi-wan just had to say something, "Another happy landing."

"Yeah right!" I snapped. That scared me half to death.

We took a Jedi shuttle to the Senate building. Anakin, Palpatine, and I stepped out of the shuttle, but Obi-wan did not. "Are you coming Obi-wan?' I asked.

"Oh no. I'm not brave enough for politics. I have to report to the Council. Besides, someone needs to be the poster boy and girl," he said smiling.

Anakin pointed a finger at him, "Hold on, this whole operation was your idea. You planned it. You led the rescue operation. You have to be the one to take the bows this time."

"Sorry, old friends. Let us not forget that November rescued me from the Buzz droids, and killed Count Dooku. And you rescued the Chancellor, and you managed to land that bucket of bolts safely," he said pointing this out.

I looked at him in disbelief, "You call that safely?'

"Hey!" Anakin said elbowing me.

"Sorry sweetie," I said smiling innocently.

"All because of your training master. You deserve al those speeches of your greatness," Anakin said looking up at him.

Obi-wan chuckled, "The endless speeches . . . Anakin, let's be fair. Today you two are the heroes, and you two deserve your glorious day with the politicians."

"All right," I began. "But you owe us . . . And not for saving your skin for the tenth time . . ."

"Ninth time . . . that business on Cato Nemoidia doesn't count. I'll see you two after the briefing," Obi-wan said bowing to us, and then turning back into the shuttle.

We talked with the politicians for a minute or two before going into the briefing. As we were walking in I looked at Anakin, "I think we did pretty good this time. Don't you agree?'

"I do," he said grabbing my hand that was hanging down by my side. He then turned to me and I to him.

"I think now I need a vacation," I said.

He looked into my eyes and smiled, "Me too!"

"Hmm. How about in our apartment?" I asked.

His eyes grew brighter, "Under the covers?"

"In between the sheets," I continued.

He laughed, "Or in the shower."

My eyes widened, and he chuckled. He then bent down to kiss me not knowing that in the shadow of the column an old friend stood watching with bright eyes, and a smiled upon her lips.

A/N: The part where November and Obi-wan fight together is from Rush Hour 2. I don't know if you've ever seen it but it is funny cause they do this fight scene where they split up just like that. Anyway I welcome you back into the mind of Lady Jedi Master November. Yay!


	2. Realization

Live or Die

Allie Helms

Chapter Two

Realization

I'm lost in my thoughts, and baby I've fought for all I got. Can you hear me?

I stopped kissing him, and he froze, "What?"

"Someone is behind me," I said.

I looked behind me then back into my eyes, "Yes."

"Stand back," I said unsheathing my lightsabers, and turning around to come face to face with Padme.

I looked at her shocked. "What do you thing about the diplomatic solution now?" she said quoting me.

"Screw it," I said. I clipped my lightsabers to my belt. We embraced each other in a hug. She smelt of the flowers on Naboo, and it reminded me of how much I missed it. We laughed and I pulled back, and looked at her. She looked far more tired a rigid since the last time I saw her three years ago at my wedding. Then again she looked more wise, and beautiful too. "You look so different," I said.

"You haven't changed at all," she said. "You act the same, but there is something. In the corner of eye I see dread, and displacement. Like something is about to happen, is something going to happen?" she asked.

I laughed, "You could always read me, but I assure you that nothing bad is going to happen. Everything will be fine."

She smiled, and I could feel some doubt in her voice. "Well, I better go in for the briefing."

"Us too, Rose," Anakin said.

I looked over to Anakin, "Annie I'm not feeling too well all of the sudden. I'm going to go back to the apartment, but I will stop by the Jedi Temple before I do. I have to visit one of my students, and ask Yoda something."

"I'll come with you," he said.

I shook my head, "No, they need you here for the briefing. Anakin I'll be fine. Trust me, love." He shook his head. "And I will come visit you tomorrow," I said to Padme.

"Will you sing to me?" she asked.

I nodded," Now if only I could find a speeder."

Anakin tapped me on the shoulder. "Over their, Angel," he said pointing to an open speeder.

I stood in my tip-toes, and kissed him lightly on the lips, "Thank you, babe." I walked over to the speeder, and got in. I turned it on and sped off.

"Knock, knock," I called through the open door of the Jedi bunk.

A girl about thirteen came walking, "November, you're back!" She came up and hugged me. "It's so good to see you," she said.

"It's good to see you too Fayanna," I said hugging her back. "Have you been practicing your sword exercises like I taught you?" I asked her.

She nodded her head, "Yes, and I wanted to say thank you."

"For what?" I asked.

She looked out across Courscant like I used to when something bothered me. "For believing I could do anything. When the Council said I wouldn't be trained well I don't know what I would have done. I've always wanted to be a Jedi and you showed me I could be it even if people said I couldn't."

"Oh Fayanna, you'll be my apprentice soon enough I promise you. Just start to meditate regularly, and practice becoming a great warrior, and I know you'll get it," I told her. "Now if you'll excuse me I have to go and talk to Master Yoda about Council stuff, " I hugged her and she looked up at me.

"Are you teaching tomorrow?" she asked.

"Do you have meditation after afternoon break?" I asked back.

She smiled, "Yes."

"Then yes I am teaching tomorrow. I will see you tomorrow, and keep working. I sense you becoming a great Lady Jedi," I said.

She smiled an even brighter smile this time, "Just like you."

"Yeah, just like me," I said a little doubtfully, but she didn't hear it in my voice.

I exited her dormitory, and went to search for Master Yoda. I stopped in the middle of the temple, and closed my eyes. I searched my through the force and found him right behind me. "Searching for me, you are," his squeaky voice said from behind.

I smiled as I turned around. "Yes, Master Yoda I have to talk to you about something," I said.

He chuckled his little chuckle, "Getting doubtful, you are, hmmm."

"You can always tell," I said.

He looked up at me, "Easy to read, you are when confused. Go into the meditation room, we should."

I nodded and we walked to the dark abandoned room. I sat down across from Yoda. "Well," he said.

"Right," I said caught off guard. "Yoda tomorrow will be my birthday, and it will have been three years since you found me as the Lost Prophecy. Are you sure you and the Council were right about me? Are you sure that I am truly that woman?"

"Do you not wish you to be the Lost Prophecy?" he asked.

I looked at him, "Master Yoda, I don't want to die."

"But unafraid of death, you are," he said.

I tried to reason with him, "But I am . . ."

"Not, you are. Sense it in your soul, I do. Afraid to lose Anakin, you are. Concerns me, this does. Know something is going to happen, you do," he said.

"I won't tell you," I said quickly.

He smiled up to me, "Not asking you to tell, I am, but a big secret, you hold. Tear you up inside, it could. Balance, remember. For you that is all I have."

"I will keep that in mind Master Yoda. Thank you," I said.

He smiled, "Now back to your husband with you, and your young friend, Fayanna, seeking a master, she soon will be."

"I know Master I have been giving her tips, but I may not be able to be her master," I started but he cut me off.

"Her Master, you will be. One in two, you are," he said.

I got up and bowed. "If the Council wished it, then I shall take up the duty."

"Thank you," he said.

When I got back to mine and Anakin's apartment it was dark like my mind right then. It was coming. It was the deep breath before the plunge, and it made me nervous. Tonight Anakin would have his nightmare, and it would start. His fall, his turn, his true evil would come out, and I wouldn't be able to stop it.

I walked over to the balcony, and looked out over Courscant. It was dark, but there were still little dots of lights all over the city and the speeders still zoomed by below.

I felt a tear slide down my cheek into the corner of my mouth. I then went into our bedroom, and opened the drawer tot he dresser. I pulled out a white night gown, and set it down on the bed. I changed into it, and took my hair down. A shiver ran down my back as the hair fell down over my shoulders.

I then took my problems into the kitchen. I grabbed a knife from the drawer, and looked at the perfect metal of the blade. I then went back to the balcony, and sunk down to the floor with my back to the railing. I took the knife in my hand and pressed it to my arm. I pressed a little bit harder, and I saw the liquid substance roll down my arm into the crevice of my elbow. I swipe across and the blood made me realize I could have pain. I took the blade off the wound and placed it beside me, and I started crying. The tears sliding down my face, and falling on the wound.

I sat there for about thirty minutes before Anakin arrived. He saw the darkened apartment. "Rose." He heard me weeping, and looked over tot he balcony. He saw me huddled in a slump, and I rushed over. His eyes caught sight of the knife beside me, and then to my arm, and my blood drenched nightgown. "Rose," he whispered. "What did you do?"

"In my world to get rid of pain we cut ourselves," I said shakily. "It's not the best way, but for me it works."

"Shh," he whispered. "It's going to be alright. Come lets get you bandaged up and changed then we can go to bed."

I nodded. "I love you so much," he smiled.

"I love you, but you have to promise me that you will never do this again," he said.

I looked at him, "and if I don't?"

"I'll get Obi-wan after you," he said.

I laughed, "In that case, I promise."

He pulled me up, and walked me over to the couch. He got me a wet towel. I took it and pressed it upon the wound. After that I stopped crying. He then bandaged it up, and led me up stairs. I got out a dark green nightgown this time, and changed into that while Anakin got into his sleep pants. I the crawled under the covers and Anakin followed suit. He wrapped me in his arms, and kissed the top of my head.

I didn't fall asleep all though Anakin thought so. I felt him stir in his sleep, and I knew it was happening. I took a deep breath. I had to be strong right now for Anakin, for me. I felt him sit up abruptly, and turn to put his feet on the floor. I felt him bury his head in his hands, and sigh. He got up, and took his robe from the bottom of the bed. I turned in bed, and caught a glimpse of him walking downstairs.

I followed him into the living room. "What's bothering you?" I asked taking his hands in mine. His strong loving hands gave me strength. They were callused on his palms from his lightsaber, and so were mine. We were working Jedi of the Order that I so dearly love.

"Nothing," he answered.

I sighed, "I know it is something."

He looked down at our hands, and found the black and white heart shaped stone of my engagement ring. "I remember when I purposed to you."

"Anakin tell me. You had a dream didn't you?" I asked.

He looked to my cut, and rubbed it. I felt love glow through the wound healing it inside out. His eyes then wandered up to meet mine. They were a dull blue, and I could sense this was it. "It was about you," he said.

"Was it bad?' I asked.

He looked worried, "Liked the ones I used to have about my mother just before she died."

"And?" I said wanting more.

"It was about you," he said.

"Tell me," I said giving him entrance into my mind and soul.

He rubbed my hands with his thumbs, "It was only a dream." I looked at him. "You die at the hand of a Sith, but it's like your giving up." I nodded.

So, that was how I would die. By a Sith, and I would give up. It could happen. "It was only a dream Anakin."

He took me in his arms, "I won't let this dream become real, Rose."

"Maybe you should talk to Master Yoda tomorrow morning, and I want to go with you," I said.

He pulled me to arm length, "No."

"Anakin you need someone's insight. Please they need to know how I am going to die to protect me. Love me that's all I ask of you remember?" I pleaded.

Alright I will," he said.

I smiled, "Good." I brought him into another embrace, and kissed him ever so deeply. I truly loved this man.

The next morning I woke up with Anakin, and took a shower. After that I got dressed in a golden yellow dress. It had a short sleeved top, and a flowing bottom. I then put my hair up in twin French braids. I took my lightsabers, and slipped them into my hidden pockets as Anakin liked to call them.

When Anakin was done putting on his Jedi garb he came up behind me while I was putting on my perfume. "You don't need to wear that you already smell desirable," he said planting little kisses on my neck.

"Annie!" I said.

He looked at me through the mirror, "Sorry."

"A little feisty this morning aren't we?" I asked.

He put his arms around me waist, "Only because I'm so in love with you."

"And I'm so in love with you," I said.

I took off the bandage from my self-inflicted wound. "Don't do that love," Anakin said.

"Anakin last night was not the first time I had done that. Now I know what I'm doing," I said.

He turned me around, "What!"

"Anakin before I came here I did it some, but not a lot. See?" I showed him some scars on my upper arm. "Plus all wounds need air," I said.

He looked disbelievingly at me, "You used to do this, and you didn't tell me?"

"I didn't think it mattered," is aid.

"It matters to me Rose," he hugged me, and put his face in the crook of my neck. "I don't like it when you hurt yourself. You scared me half to death last night."

"I promised I wouldn't do it again," I said.

He pulled me back. He took my arm and kissed my wound, "good." He kissed it some more.

"Stop," I said giggling. "That tickles." He stopped and smiled one of those rare but awesomely handsome smiles. "And you need to smile more often," I said smiling back.

"Well, I'll smile more often if you laughed a little more often too," he said sticking out his hand. "Deal?"

"Deal."

Anakin and I now sat in the same meditation room I was in with Yoda last night. "Premonitions . . . premonitions . . . hmm . . . these visions you have . . ." Yoda said pondering on them.

"They are of pain suffering death," Anakin said to be more specific.

Yoda looked at him, "Yourself you speak of, or someone you know?"

"They're actually about me," I told Yoda.

He looked up at me then back at Anakin, "so, how is the Lost Prophecy to die?"

"St the hands of a Sith. It looked like she gave up, or was feeling too much pain to continue fighting," Anakin said.

"Careful you must be with sensing the future Anakin. The fear of loss is a path to the Dark Side," Yoda told him.

Anakin looked at Master Yoda determinedly, "I won't let these visions come true Master Yoda."

"Death is a natural part of life. Rejoice for those around you who transform into the Force. Mourn them, do not. Miss them, do not. Attachment leads to jealousy. The shadow of greed that is," Yoda told us.

"What must I do?" Anakin asked.

Yoda pointed a stubby finger towards Anakin, "Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose." Anakin and I nodded.

We then go up to exit and as we reached the door Yoda spoke again, "Such a deep cut, that is Lady November."

I looked at Anakin, "I'll see you later." He nodded, and I came and sat in front of Master Yoda. "Yes it is."

"Happen when you were kidnapped, it was not. Done yourself, it was," he said.

"Yes it was," I said.

He looked at me, "This secret, growing deeper, it is. Weighing heavily upon your shoulders it is."

"What should I do?" I asked.

He handed me a journal. "Write in here, you must. Give it to anybody, you do not. Has to read it, nobody does."

I looked at the black and white leather bound cover. I could start my story over from scratch. "Thank you Master," I said.

"Now go, you must. A class to teach, you have," he said.

I bowed and walked out of the room.

I walked into class, "Hello class."

"Hello, Lady Jedi Master November," they said in unison.

I looked at them, "Oh please! I hate having my whole title before my name. Just call me Lady Jedi, Jedi November, or Master November please. I can't stand that. Can you believe they gave me the whole title of Lady Jedi Master November Rose Lee Skywalker? It's so dreary."

They giggled. "Okay Liam, can you get the shades please. They rest of you clear your mind. Today we will be using the Force through meditation to find simple things. Okay close your eyes and I will ask you were something is in the room. The one who raises his or her hand fist will get to find it. Okay do you want to do a fun one?" I asked. They shook their heads. "Okay this is top secret only Master Anakin knows this one, and if you know it too you have to keep it secret. Got it?" The shook their heads again. "Okay anybody know where I keep my lightsabers when I wear my dresses?" I asked.

One little boy raised his hand. "Yes Damien."

He opened his eyes, and came up to me. He reached into my skirt, and pulled out my lightsabers, "Right here."

"Brilliant! Good!" I said praising him.

"Wow they are so heavy. How do you fight with them?' he asked.

I laughed, "The same way you fight with your training sabers, but your training sabers are a lot lighter then actual ones. When you become as apprentice then you will get real ones."

The rest of class went well, and afterwards I went to the Council chambers for the meeting. I entered and saw all the members sitting in a circle. "Sorry I am late Masters. One of my students wanted to know something about Force signatures," I said apologizing.

I took a seat beside Obi-wan, and asked him what had happened. "Chancellor Palpatine has asked that Anakin be appointed to the Jedi Council," he said.

"What!" I yelled. I looked around, and saw the Masters looking at me.

"Something to say about the Chancellor's appointment, do you Lady Jedi?" Yoda asked.

I nodded, "Yes I do not think this is a good idea. I mean the Chancellor is not the head of our Order he does not command us, and it is his fault we are in this war anyway. It is his fault we have to be Generals instead of keepers of the peace."

"Lady November, you are right on all those circumstances, but we cannot deny him access," the hologram of Ki-Adi-Mundi said.

"I know," I said. "I am sorry for my outburst."

They then called Anakin back in, and he saw me sitting next to Obi-wan and he smiled. "Anakin Skywalker, we have approved your appointment to the Council of the Chancellor's personal representative," Mace said.

"I will do my best to uphold the principals of the Jedi Order," Anakin said.

Yoda then pointed a finger, "allow this appointment lightly, the Council does not. Disturbing is this move by Chancellor Palpatine."

"I understand," Anakin said.

My gaze stayed locked on him, "You are on this Council, but we do not grant you the rank of Master."

"What! How can you do this?" Anakin began. "This is outrageous, it's unfair . . . I'm more powerful then any of you. How can you be on the Council and not be a Master?"

"Anakin we do not underestimate your powers, but you are still a little unpredictable. You are not balanced inside. More of the Force you have yet to study," I said.

Mace looked angry, "Take a seat, young Skywalker."

"Forgive me Masters," he said taking a seat next to me.

"We have surveyed all the systems in the Republic, and have found no sign of General Grievous," Ki-Adi-Mundi spoke again.

I shifted in my seat, "Grievous is on one of the Outer Rim planets then."

"Sweep those, you should," Yoda said to Ki-Adi-Mundi.

"It may take some time. We do not have many ships to spare," Obi-wan pointed out.

"We cannot take ships from the front line," Mace said.

Obi-wan rubbed his chin, "And yet, it would be fatal for us to allow the droid armies to regroup."

"I agree," I said.

"Master Kenobi our spies contact, you must, and then wait," Yoda said.

I nodded, "We still have to help the Wookies with the droid attack. We can't afford to lose them."

"I know that system well. It would take us little time to drive the droids off the planet," Anakin said.

"Skywalker, your assignment is here with the Chancellor, and your wife. Kenobi must find General Grievous," Mace said, and I could feel disappointment in Anakin's force signature.

"Go, I will. Good relations with the Wookies I have," Yoda said.

"It is settled them. Yoda will take a battalion of clones to reinforce the Wookies on Kashyyyk. May the Force be with us all, Master November can I speak with you for a moment?" Mace asked.

I nodded at Anakin and Obi-wan to wait up. "Yes master," is aid.

"I want you to go with Anakin whenever he goes to see Chancellor Palpatine," he said.

"What? You don't trust him," I said.

"I do, but he is a little too close to the Chancellor for comfort," he said.

I nodded, "I understand, Master. I will do whatever the Council wishes. May the Force be with you." I bowed then walked out.

A/n: sorry for it being messed up but my computer doesn't like me anymore. Hopefully my dad will get it fixed. By the way Nov. 11th is my b-day. Go me! Go me! **does a dance** review!


	3. A Jedi Mind

Live or Die

Allie Helms

Chapter Three

A Jedi Mind

Knowledge speaks wisdom listens.

I caught up with Anakin and Obi-wan outside the chamber. "What kind of nonsense is this, put me on the Council and not make me a master? That's never been done in the history of the Jedi. It's insulting," Anakin said in his rage.

I looked out of the window, "Anakin, we think your relations with the Chancellor are well a little bit too close. It bothers me."

"She is right. Calm down. You have been given a great honor. To be on the Council at your age . . . it's never been done before. Listen to me Anakin. The fact of the matter is you're too close to the Chancellor. The Council doesn't like it when he interferes with Jedi affairs," Obi-wan explained.

Anakin turned around, "I swear to you I didn't ask to be put on the Council."

"Yes, but it was your deepest desire," I said still facing the window.

He then turned his head to look at this, "That has nothing to do with this."

"Or does it?" I asked.

"Anakin, regardless of how it happened, you find yourself in a delicate situation," Obi-wan pointed out.

I turned around to face Obi-wan, "Indeed."

"You mean divided loyalties?" he asked.

I shook my head. "I warned you there was tension between the Council and the Chancellor. I was very clear. Why didn't you listen? You walked right into it," Obi-wan scolded.

"The Council is upset. I'm the youngest to ever serve," Anakin said.

I looked over to him, "I don't mean to be sour, but with age comes wisdom. Something which younger people do not have then the older."

"Why are you against me all of the sudden?" he asked.

I walked up to him and cupped his cheek, "I am not. I am just scared about the something that might happen. I trust you, but I sense darkness."

"Anakin, I worry when you speak of jealousy and pride. Those are not Jedi thoughts. They're dangerous, dark thoughts," Obi-wan pointed out.

"Master, you of all people should have confidence in my a abilities. I know where my loyalties lie," Anakin said.

I cocked my head to the side like a curious dog, "Do you?"

"Why are you doubting me my love? My loyalties are with you, and the Council. That's it," he said.

I closed my eyes, "I sense some with the Chancellor. He is flattering you, and making you like him. I'm suddenly afraid."

"Anakin the only reason the Council has approved your appointment is because the Chancellor trusts you," Obi-wan said. Anakin looked at him. "Anakin, look we are on your side. We didn't want to see you put in this situation," he said.

"What situation?" Anakin asked.

Obi-wan and I took a deep breath, "The Council wants you to report on all the Chancellor's dealings. They want to know what he's up to."

"They want me to spy on the Chancellor? That's treason!" Anakin said furiously.

I finally spoke, "Anakin, my world once had a Civil War. Many people were spies. Even women."

"What are you saying?" he asked.

I looked at him with a regrettable look. "The Council wants me to go with you when you go to the Chancellor. I am supposed to look over you. I am doing this as they asked because my loyalties are with them. I trust them and they trust me. When you start to trust them then they will trust you too, Anakin. I don't want to, but I have to for the Council, and for me," I said.

"The Chancellor is not a bad man, Rose. He befriended me. He's watched out for me ever since I arrived here," he said.

Obi-wan shook his head, "This is why you must help us, Anakin. Our allegiance is to the Senate, not to its leader who has managed to stay in office long after his term has expired."

"But Master the Senate demanded he stay longer," Anakin pointed out.

I turned back toward the window, "Yes, but use your feelings, Anakin. Something is out of place here."

Anakin looked at me. I could feel his blue eyes full of rage, "You're asking me to do something against the Jedi Code, against the Republic, against a mentor, and a friend. That's what's out of place here."

"No!" I shouted at him. I was furious at him furious at myself. "Anakin what would be out of place is if you were against me, if you were spying on me. You are not married to the Chancellor, but to me." I turned around to face him. "I am asking you to do this. I have to help you, and I can't help you if you won't let me," I started to cry. "Do this for me, for the Council. I'm sorry," I said, and I ran away.

"And you just ran away like that?" Padme asked from across the table.

I nodded, "I don't know what happened. It's like something snapped in me, and I had to tell him that he had to do this. You know?"

She nodded. "I'm sorry. Hopefully when you get home you can apologize, and you two will be back to happily ever after," she said with a smile.

"Yeah I hope," I said.

She put a hand on mine. "Will you sing me a song like you used to?" she asked.

"Sure," I replied.

If you gave me a coin for every time we said good bye

Well I'd be rich beyond my dreams

I'm sorry for my weary life

I know I'm not perfect but I can smile

And I hope you see this heart behind my tired eyes

If you tell me that I can't

I will

I will

I'll try all night

And if I say I'm coming home

I'll probably be out all night

I know I can be afraid

But I'm alive

And I hope you trust this heart behind my tired eyes

I'm no angel but please don't think that I won't try and try

I'm no angel but does that mean I can't live my life

I'm no angel but please don't think that I can't cry

I'm no angel but does that mean I won't fly

I know I'm not around each night

And I know I always think I'm right

I can believe that you might look around

I'm no angel but please don't think that I won't try and try

I'm no angel but does that mean I can't live my life

I'm no angel but please don't think that I can't cry

I'm no angel but does that mean I won't fly

I finished, and she smiled. "You still have a wonderful voice, November. I've missed it."

"So have I, but for now I will go. I will send you a hologram tomorrow if I have time," I said hugging her, and walking out the door.

When I entered the apartment it was dark. I turned on the light, and got a piece of paper and a pen from the kitchen. I went out on the balcony, and began to write.

It's driving me mad

Voices ringing through my ears

Trying to drive me

Out of my comfort zone

It's pulling me out into the world

Not pulling me back

Until I'm ready

Until I can cope

It's making me upset

Throwing me away

Like a piece of messed up paper

Into a waste basket

It's cleaning me

And making me dirty

Healing me and

Making me sick

It's making me love

And making me hate

Making me die

And making me reborn

It's like lilies

Floating down a deep dark hole

And like lily pads

Floating on the ponds

It's like a shady path

And yet like a light road

Leading me on

Until I let all of it go

This thing I talk of

Is something I fear

And yet I am not afraid

It's an unwilling feeling

This thing called life.

Just then I heard the door of the apartment opened, and I felt Anakin's presence looking at me. I quickly hid the piece of paper in my secret pockets. I felt Anakin approach me. I was ready to get my lightsabers out to attack him. He came closer, and instead of pulling out my weapons to attack him I just turned around to face him. He stepped a little bit closer, and I collapsed in his arms. "Annie, I'm so sorry," I said crying into his cloak.

He pulled me away, "Why did you say that Rose?"

I turned around to look out over the darkness of Courscant. "Because I was afraid. I was afraid of losing you. If you leave me Anakin I would surly die of my own destruction. I know that if I lose you I would . . ." I started to choke on my tears.

He walked up to me and wrapped his arm around me, and kissed my neck. "Shh. I will always be with you no matter what. I will never leave you," he whispered.

I smiled at his touch. "Yes, but I have my doubts you know that," I said running my hands through his hair.

"Do you?" he whispered into my ears.

I turned my head to look at him. "Yes," I said. He tilted his head forward, and kisses me deeply.

"Let's go to bed," he said breaking the kiss. I nodded and we walked up hand in hand to the bedroom. I changed into a deep red nightgown, and sat beside him on the bed. "I love you, and I do trust you, but the Council well I just don't know," he said putting a hand on my leg.

"Anakin, they aren't bad. They do what they think is best for the Republic. Don't let anyone tell you other wise. They are trying to protect it. There is a bug hidden in the Senate. There is something wrong I sense with it. Every government has their faults, and they Council is trying to catch the one in the Senate before it happens. Just do what they say, and I promise you everything will be okay," I told him.

He looked at me his dark blue eyes in deep concentration. "I'm just so worried that I won't be able to save you from your fate. I don't want you to leave me," he said with tears on the brink of appearance.

"Annie, you can't save me. I am to die with or without you saving me. Plus you already have. You took me from a horrible past, and made me what I am today. I am a Jedi Master, a wife, and a warrior. The only think you have left to do is to love me that is all I ask of you, remember?" I asked.

He smiled, "Alright. I promise."

"Are you still waiting for me?" I asked.

He smiled, "Yes."

"Good," I said and then I kissed him deeply.

"Hello class," Anakin and I said in unison. I looked over to Fayanna and smiled.

"Hello Lady November and Master Skywalker," the class responded.

Anakin stepped forward. "Welcome to lightsaber training. Now today you will pick a partner, and duel with him or her. Now before we are going to do that you will watch Lady November and I duel first so you can learn the rules. We will do a full duel, so you can see me beat her," he said with a wink.

"Oh really?" I questioned. "You really think you could do that Anakin? You better not slack off. Just bring it all."

Anakin took off his cloak, "Oh do you really want me too?"

I nodded while taking off my black cloak. He got into attack position with his lightsaber ignited. I just stood there. A small boy raised his hand. "Yes Randolph do you have a question?" I asked.

"Yes Lady November, why are you not unsheathing your lightsabers?" he asked me.

I smiled, "Because as a warrior I have quick reflexes." They looked at me confused. "Just watch." They nodded.

Anakin leapt forward, and I grabbed my lightsabers with the Force, and blocked him with an 'x' above my head. "You see?" I asked. They nodded.

Anakin and I fought with fury, and with love. We were doing leaps and jumps all over the place. We finally stopped, and Anakin and I were out of breath.

"Okay now you go, and find a partner yourselves. We will give you tips while observing," I said panting. Fayanna teamed up with a girl name Silana. I walked over to Anakin to get some water. "Good fight love, good fight," I said taking a drink.

"Thank you, and you too. We should do this more often," he smiling.

I nodded, "I very much agree." We laughed.

We walked around, and gave them tips as we did. "Fayanna fake left then attack right!" I yelled to her. She nodded and did so.

"Damien go high!" Anakin yelled.

The class ended an hour later, and Anakin and I were exhausted.

We returned home to the apartment, and I started to make dinner. Anakin went to take a shower, and change. After a while he came up to me, and wrapped his arms around me. "It smells good. What are we having?" he asked.

"Pasta with red sauce," I said.

He smiled in my ear, "Do you want to skip dinner?"

"Maybe," I said. Just then his com started to beep. "What? Who is that?" I asked.

"It's the Chancellor. He wants to see me," he said.

I nodded, "Let me go change."

"No, he wants to see me now. I will catch up with you there. I love you," he said kissing me on the cheek, and sprinting out the door.

I ran into the bedroom, and changed into a black jumpsuit. I clipped my lightsabers to the utility belt, and sprinted out of the door. I jumped into my black speeder, and headed for the opera house. "I hate operas," I said to myself.

I entered the Chancellor's box, and saw Anakin sitting with him. "Ah! Lady Jedi November, what a surprise, I wasn't expecting you to come," he said.

"Yes, not only is Anakin being your eyes for the republic, but I get to be your mouth," I said smiling. He just glared. "We have both been assigned to you your _honor_," I said nastily.

"As I was telling young Anakin here, Our Clone Intelligence Units have discovered the location of General Grievous. He is hiding in the Utapau system," he smiling. "Unless you don't trust me."

My face became stone, "I trust you . . ." Then I muttered under my breath, "As much as I would trust Grievous."

"What was that?" he asked.

I forced a smile upon my lips, "I said as much as I would trust Anakin. Now if that is all I do believe we will be going. Let's go Anakin. I still have pasta and red sauce cooking."

Anakin and I left. Outside the opera house I stopped. "What is it, Rose?" he asked.

"What did he say to you before I arrived?" I asked him.

He shook his head, "Nothing of importance."

I nodded reluctantly. I knew he said something. Something didn't feel right. It just didn't.

"How could the Chancellor have come by this information, and we know nothing about it? We have had contact with Baron Papanoida, and he said no one was there," Mace's hologram said.

Anakin leaned forward in his seat, "A partial message was intercepted in a diplomatic packet from the Chairman of Utapau."

"Act on this, we must. The capture of General Grievous will end this war. Quickly and decisively we should proceed," Yoda's holographic form said.

We all agreed. "The Chancellor has requested that I lead the campaign," Anakin said.

"The Council will make up its own mind who is to go, no the Chancellor," Mace said a little angry.

Yoda nodded, "A master is needed, with more experience."

"Given our resources, I recommend we send only one Jedi . . . Lady Jedi November," Mace said.

I shook my head, "I may be a good candidate, but Master Kenobi has much more experience than I do. I suggest he goes."

Everyone agreed, and the Council was dismissed.

A/N: I hope you like it. I know they are long chapters but they are getting the job done. R/R thanks!


	4. Can't Save Me

Live or Die

Allie Helms

Chapter Four

Can't Save Me

Not all scars show. Not all pain heals. Sometimes you can't see the pain someone feels.

I woke up to find Anakin lying next to me watching me peacefully. "What are you doing, love?" I asked him.

He smiled that sweet smile, "I was watching you sleep. You're like an angel you know that? So peaceful and beautiful like a dream. Your skin was so soft it could have melted through my fingers."

"Someone is in love," I said getting out of bed.

He chuckled, "Aren't you?"

"Very much so. He is so handsome and reliable. I love him so much, and his smile is worth a thousand credits. I could just stare into his deep blue eyes forever if I had forever. You should meet him," I said smiling back at him.

I was pulling out a dress from the closet when he came behind me, and wrapped his strong arms around my small waste. "Well he sounds like a keeper," he said kissing my neck and stroking my blonde and black locks.

"I was thinking of taking a shower. Care to join?" I asked turning around.

His eyes grew wide, "It would be my pleasure." I smiled and laid the maroon dress onto the bed. He pulled out a new Jedi outfit, and strolled into the bathroom.

I looked at myself in the full-length mirror. My black and blonde hair was almost to my waste. I hadn't cut it in three years, and it grew in a rapid speed. My form had changed. I was curvier and I had more muscles. I was strong with my muscles all except one. My heart was my weakness. I always fell for Anakin's smile and laugh. I couldn't help it my husband was a god, and he probably thought I was a goddess. I smiled at that thought and walked into the bathroom. He had lit some candles and I could smell the desirable sent of cinnamon. He knew what smells I liked.

He stood there in his sleep pants, and I in my nightgown. He approached me, and kissed me lightly. As the kiss grew he applied more pressure, and his tongue slipped into my mouth. It was surreal. I was lost to the world, and nothing could stop us. Not Obi-wan, not the Council, and not even that damn Chancellor. We were one. I turned around, and he started to unzip my nightgown while kissing my shoulders. My skin prickled with desire every time his lips touched it.

I was sliding down the Milky Way. Once I had slipped out of my nightgown I was bare except for my underwear. He looked at me, "You're so beautiful." He came in and kissed me while messaging my breasts with his callused hands.

I slipped my fingers in between his sleep pants and his bare skin, and he moaned for more. We moved over to the shower, and turned on the water. It got warm, and we discarded the rest of our clothing. We stepped inside, and everything was gone. I stepped back from where I was kissing his chest, and looked his water soaked body.

He was truly a god. His tan skin was glistening in the reflection of the water droplets, and his eyes were bluer then ever not to mention full with passion and desire.

ANAKIN

She was an angel. The water was spreading across her body, and glistening in the light. She was my angel, and she would remain that way. She was not going to die I would make sure of that. Her hair was drenched and dark with water, and her eyes they were wholly craving love and affection yet giving them in return.

I moved toward her and took her in a passionate kiss. I wanted her right now. I needed her . . . I needed her to stay with me forever.

NOVEMBER

He held my hips, and entered himself in me. I was flying on a roller coaster. Nobody can take me away from him. I moved with him in a steady beat as the Force flowed through us in a poetic way. We were now connected Force signature and all. He began to move faster and I followed suit. We were getting to the climax, and he released.

My breath was fast and I was hitting the ceiling. My heartbeat was steady, and I could see he was holding himself up to the wall to catch his breath. When he did I walked over to him and he held me while the water was still pouring over our heads.

We finished up our shower, and moved out to the bedroom where I changed into the maroon dress I laid out earlier. The sleeves were bell sleeves, and it fit my bodice like all of them do. It had a pattern of black vines and roses. I put my lightsabers into the secret pockets on my backside, and put on my high heel shoes. "Are you ready for class today?" I asked.

"Oh yes my favorite to teach mission analyzing," he said grumpily.

I chuckled, "Hey you need it after that thing on Grievous ship you called a rescue mission."

"We all came out alive, and nobody got a scratch," he said.

I walked up to him and showed him a bruise on my forearm, "You see this it's called a bruise, and I do believe I got it from that mission."

"You did that to yourself. You always put yourself in danger. So technically it is your fault, but I'll kiss it to make it better if you want," he said with a smile.

I smiled as he kissed it, "Yes, but it is fun to be in danger. Plus I live for adventure remember."

"Oh yes like that mission on Dantooine where you wanted to take on six Sith soldiers by yourself. Which was not a great success mind you," he said taking my hand. "Are you ready?" he asked.

I shook my head, "No I have to do my make-up."

"I swear I think you're the only Lady Jedi that wears make-up, and you already look beautiful," he said.

I smiled and applied my eye shadow, which like my dress crossed like vines across my temple in black swirls. "How does it look?" I asked.

"Entrancing. Now can we go so we won't be late for class? I hear that is really bad if teachers are late for there own class," he said.

I said in a fake British accent, "Oh that does sound dreadful." He just chuckled, took my hand, and led me to the speeder.

"Hello students," Anakin and I said in unison entering the obstacle course.

"Hello Master Anakin and Lady November," the class responded.

I stepped forward ready to give instructions. "Now today we will be doing a mock mission. You all will hear the mission and objective, and then get into groups where you will come up with a plan on how to solve your problems. Anakin and I will demonstrate, but you cannot copy our routine. Understand?" I asked. They all nodded. Anakin brought the screen down where Master Yoda's hologram sat.

It began to speak, "A difficult mission, ahead of you it is. A little girl, you must rescue. Important to the Republic, she is. Holds a secret, she does. Get through destroyer droids, you may, or find a way to sneak in undetected, you can. May the Force be with you."

I walked with Anakin over to a map of the ship. "What shall we do?" I asked.

"Well, you're the smart one that came up with the plan for Geonosis," he said.

I sighed, "Oh all right. Here is what we will do . . ." I started to explain.

20 MINUTES LATER

"Okay children we are going in. Ready Anakin?" I asked.

He held out his hand in a fist, "Ready as I'll ever be." We knocked fist, and started out. We walked in a hallway until we came to the main computer, and found where the little girl was being kept. I nodded to Anakin, and we continued. About halfway through we came in contact with some battle droids, and we destroyed them to pieces. Finally we got the girl, and asked her what her secret was. "A cure for the common cold," she said. I looked at Anakin.

"Well that was a waste of time," I told him and he nodded. About twenty minutes later team one was going first. They completed the mission successfully. The second team was captured, and the third team well lets just say they are worse then the second team.

After class Anakin and I raced to meet up with Obi-wan before he left. "You're going to need us on this one Master," Anakin told him.

He smiled, "Oh, I agree! However it may turn out to be a wild bantha chase."

"Yes, but it wouldn't be a real bantha chase without us!" I said jokingly.

He chuckled and turned to leave, and I followed him to walk him to this ship when Anakin called out to him, and he came walking back up the ramp. "Master, I've disappointed you. I have not been very appreciative of you training . . . I have been arrogant and I apologize. I've just been so frustrated with the Council. Your friendship means everything to me," he said thanking him.

Obi-wan clapped his shoulder, "You are very strong and wise, Anakin, and I am very proud of you. I have trained you since you were a small boy. I have taught you everything I know. And you have become a far greater Jedi than I could ever hope to be, and you have saved my life more times than I can remember. But be patient, Anakin. It won't be long before the Council makes you a Jedi Master." Obi-wan starts down the ramp and I follow him yet again. He then turns back to Anakin, "Don't worry. I have enough clones with me to take three systems the size of Utapau. I think I'll be able to handle the situation . . . even without your help."

"Well, there is always a first time," I said Obi-wan just chuckled, and started back down the ramp.

We entered the assault ship and Obi-wan turns to me, "Something is bothering you isn't it?"

"Yes, Obi-wan, I'm afraid for Anakin. He seems well a little too close for the Chancellor," I said worried.

He looked at me with a serious look in his eyes, "I'm sure he can handle it."

"No," I said cutting him off. "His feelings are confused. He doesn't know who to trusted. I think he will . . . I'm afraid he will do something bad."

"Contact me if anything happens I will come straight away. I promise," he said. I nodded and left the ship. When I came back out Anakin was not there anymore.

"Great, Annie where did you go?" I asked myself.

A/N: sorry for the s-e-x scene I thought u guys need some love and a cold shower lol ill have to raise the rating though oh well. But it is my first one so give me pointers. By the way last chapter song was no angel by dido oh yeah review!


	5. The Last Good Time

Live or Die

Allie Helms

Chapter Five

The Last Good Time

Love is being stupid together.

"Hey can I come in?" I asked buzzing up to Padme's office in the Senate building.

She buzzed back, "Yeah."

"Thanks don't sound so enthusiastic," I said.

"I'm so happy you're here November," she said a little more lightly.

I smiled through the intercom, "Now that is better."

I took the elevator up to her office, and opened the door to see Bail Organa, Mon Mothma, and Padme sitting around her desk. "Wow you guys decided to throw a party and not invite me. Now I ask how is that fair?" I said jokingly.

"Lady Jedi November, how nice to see you," Bail said rising from his seat.

I smiled, "Good to see you too Bail."

"Lady Jedi it is good to meet you again," Mon said shaking my hand.

I smiled to her, or at least I thought it was an her. You know you can't tell with species. "No we are not having a party," Padme said.

"Oh then what is it?" I asked.

Each of them looked at each other. "Should we tell her?" Bail asked Mon.

"We have to she is the most trusted Jedi in the Order, and my friend," Padme said.

Mon put her hand on her chin, "Only if she promises not to tell the Council."

"Guys I am right here you know," I said waving my hand.

Padme stood up and put her hands on my shoulders, and led me over to her chair and sat me down. "What we are about to tell you is treason. We know the complications of our actions, and we know the Jedi Council will not approve. Do you swear not to tell them?" she asked.

"Cross my heart hope to die stick a needle in my eye," I said, but they didn't get it.

Padme took my hands in hers, and looked me straight in the eyes. I knew this was serious when her brown eyes were stressed like this. "We know that the Chancellor is up to something, but we don't know what. We have made a rebellion against him, but it is secret. Would you like to be apart of it? I mean to have say on what the Jedi think?" she asked.

I just stared at her shocked. "Holy crap guys! Are you serious? I so agree, and yes I would love to be apart of something so secretive," I said.

They all just smiled and filled me in.

When I came back to the apartment Anakin was sitting down on the couch. I walked up to him and ran my hand across his back, "What are you up to love?"

"Someone has been here, a male. Have you had anybody over?" he asked.

I looked at him, "Yes, Anakin I'm cheating on you with Bail Organa, and he was over here an hour ago." He gave me a stern look. "In simple words no." I walked into the bedroom and opened up the night table to get out my leather bound black and white journal. What I saw was greater than god, and had more evil then the devil. It was nothing. I started to think. Who could have gotten into our apartment?

Well someone with Jedi powers, but the Jedi wouldn't take it and Anakin knew I had it but respected my privacy. One name popped up into my mind: Palpatine. Curse him! I walked out into the living room and searched for his force signature. It was there. This was just great.

I went back into the bedroom and changed into a black jumpsuit. I clipped my lightsabers to my utility belt, and stormed out of the apartment leaving Anakin in a cloud of dust and confusion.

As I sped across Courscant I start to think about how far Sidious has gone. Taking my journal now he can read all my secrets. I was writing things in there that nobody should know, not even me. I pulled up to the Senate building, and took the elevator to his office. I charged by his secretary, and bust the door open.

Once the door shut I took out my lightsabers and stood there looking at him. Glaring him down. "Oh Lady November what a surprise," he said dully.

"Where is it?" I shouted at him.

He looked up from his desk and asked, "What are you talking about?"

"You have my journal," I said.

He smiled, "Oh you mean this." He held it up, and I used the Force to bring it to me.

"Good now I don't have to kill you. Listen Sidious if you do anything else to make me mad except for the mere look of you then I will reveal your secret to the Council understand?" I asked.

His eyes narrowed, "You're bluffing."

"No, I'm not," I said walking out.

! THAT NIGHT

I was in the bedroom getting dressed in a dark blue dress. It had a dark blue corset top that fit my bodice and was sleeveless, and a flowing bottom. I then put on some dark eye shadow, and waited for Anakin who was getting dressed beside me. "So what is so special about tonight's Council meeting?" he asked buckling his belt.

"You'll see," I said. He just smiled with his eyes.

! TONIGHTS COUNCIL MEETING

The twelve Council members sat in a circle. Some of them were holographic forms on there missions. "Let young Fayanna in, you may," Yoda said to the two Jedi Nights keeping guard. They went and opened the doors, and Fayanna entered. When she saw me she smiled and I smiled and nodded reassuringly.

She went and stood in the middle of the room, and bowed to the masters. "Young Fayanna you have been summoned for a great honor. You are moving to the position of padawan learner. First you have to take the vow of the student. Repeat after me. I Fayanna Belle, take this oath as to follow the rules of the Jedi Order in becoming a padawan learner. I will listen and repeat I will follow the commands and take up any mission even if it means my life may be taken. I so swear." Mace said. She repeated and Mace continued, "Is their a Master who take Young Fayanna Belle as his or her student?" he asked.

I stood up, "I do." Fayanna looked up at me with a smile in her eyes. I placed my hands on her shoulders.

"Will you please make the ceremonial braid of the Padawan Learner?" Mace said. I took Fayanna's black hair in my callused hands and started to weave a braid. Anakin then handed me some colored rubber bands.

"Red: A Jedi shall not know anger. Blue: A Jedi shall not know hatred. Purple: A Jedi shall not know love," I said weaving the rubber band in her hair.

"Fayanna Lady November, your master is. November, Fayanna your Padawan Learner is," Yoda said making it complete. Fayanna turned around, and I bent down to give her a hug. Anakin walked up to us, and we shared a group hug.

When we got back home I made a celebratory dinner for Fayanna, and we sat down and ate. "Well that was a surprise. I'm proud of both of you," Anakin said to Fayanna and I.

"Thank you Master Anakin," Fayanna said.

I turned to look at her, "Okay when other Jedi see us you can say that, but when we are alone like now just call him Anakin and me November." She shook her head and laughed. Soon Annie and I joined in.

! AN HOUR LATER

"Rose sing a song for us," Anakin said.

I nodded, "As you wish."

I found myself today

Oh I sound myself and ran away

But something pulled me back

A voice of reason I forgot I had

All I know is you're not here to say

What you always used to say

But it's written in the sky tonight

So I won't give up

No I won't break down

Sooner than it seems life turns around

And I will be strong Even if it all goes wrong

When I'm standing

In the dark I'll still believe

Someone's watching over me

I've seen that ray of light

And it's shining on my destiny

Shining all the time

And I won't be afraid

To follow everywhere it's taking me

All I know is yesterday is gone

And right now I belong

To this moment to my dreams

It doesn't matter what people say

And it doesn't matter how long it takes

Believe in yourself and you'll find

It only matters how true you are

Be true to yourself and follow your heart

When I finished Fayanna was asleep with her head on Anakin's lap. "I think this is how it feels when you have children," Anakin said smiling down and the beautiful face of my padawan.

"What should we do with her?" I asked.

He shrugged, "Let's put her in the guest bedroom." I nodded, and Anakin picked her up.

I followed him to the bedroom, and kissed Fayanna on the forehead when he laid her down. She looked so peaceful, and innocent. I felt a tear come to my eye as I watched her from the doorway. Anakin sensed it, and came up behind me. "Are you okay love?' he asked.

I turned around, and nodded. "Yeah, its just look at her she seems so innocent. You know I used to be like that. I used to go on living like there was not a care in the world, and now look at me I worry about everything," I said.

He wiped the tear on my face, and took me in his arms. "You don't need to worry anymore," he said.

I ended the embrace, and walked to the kitchen to make some tea. "What do you mean. I have to worry about you, me, and now Fayanna. How am I going to manage?" I asked.

"Obi-wan and the Council don't trust me," Anakin said.

I looked at him, "What?"

"They don't trust me," he repeated.

I was caught totally off guard. "They trust you with their lives. Obi-wan loves you as a son," I said trying to reason with him. This was not good.

"Something's happening . . . I'm not the Jedi I should be. I want more when I know I shouldn't," he said looking at me through the bar that separated the kitchen from the living room.

"Annie," I said breathless. There was nothing I could do now.

He looked up at me with dark eyes, "I have found a way to save you."

"Save me?" I questioned.

He sighed, "From my nightmares."

"Anakin Skywalker, what did I tell you. When I die I will become one with the Force. Master Yoda will teach you to communicate with me. I will always be with you. I would never leave you," I said a little annoyed that he was still trying this.

"But will I be able to feel you. To have your kiss?" he asked.

I shook my head, "No."

"See I need that in order to live," he said walking out onto the balcony.

I followed him. I took my place beside him, and looked out over the city. The lights started to turn on in the apartments, and businesses. "Anakin, do you remember when we were on the balcony of Padme's apartment, and I told you what was bothering me?" I asked.

He looked at me, "Yes, why?"

"Annie if this situation was the other way around I would kill myself. I know it's hard not to be with me because everytime I'm not with you kills me. I know that if I tell you not to do anything when I die that it would hurt you more, and I could never understand your pain. It's hard for me to give you advice when I know that I haven't even taken it for myself, but you have to keep on to the Council to the Order. Hold onto Padme and Obi-wan, but you have to let me go. Have you ever heard the saying we were born to die?" I asked him. He shook his head. "Well we are. Without the threat of death there would be no reason to even live. Don't do anything irrational to save me. Just let me go."

! NEXT MORNING

I was practicing with Fayanna in the training room when Anakin walked in. "Anakin!" Fayanna yelled and gave him a hug. He hugged her back.

"How is my favorite Master Padawan combination today?" he asked.

I smirked, "In the mood for sparring. How about a round love?"

"I would love to," he smiling.

"You're on," I said. I unsheathed my lightsabers, and held them in an 'x' over my head like I always do. Just then Anakin's com beeped.

"It's the Chancellor," he said.

I nodded, "Come Fayanna we have to go." I clipped my lightsabers to the belt of my white jumpsuit and walked out. Fayanna behind me.

! PALPATINE'S OFFIVE SENATE BUILDING

We walked into the red office of the Chancellor, and saw the Delegation of Two Thousand sitting in chairs in front of the Chancellor's desk. Among them were Bail, Mon, and Padme. Fayanna and I walked over and stood behind her. "Ah Lady November I see have a padawan learner," Palpatine said eyeing Fayanna.

I nodded, "Yes Chancellor. Is that a problem?"

"No and yes, but we will discuss that later," he said. Padme looked up at me and I down to her we exchanged a look of worry. "I understand your reservations completely Senator, and I assure you that the appointment of Governors will in no way compete with the duties of the Senate," Palpatine said continuing.

"May I take it then that there will be no further amendments tot he Constitution?" she asked a glimmer in her eyes.

Palpatine looked at her annoyed, "I want this terrible conflict to end as much as you do My Lady and when it does I guarantee an immediate return to democracy."

Padme cocked her head, "You are pursuing a diplomatic solution to the war then."

"You must trust me to do the right things Senator. That is why I am here," Palpatine said trying to gain her trust.

I snorted, "I'm sorry. I have a problem trust certain people."

"Nobody asked you," Anakin said from his spot behind the Chancellor.

I glared at him, "Anakin watch your tone. I know nobody asked me but I have the right to say something, piss off."

"I have said I will do what is right that should be enough for your committee," he said stopping Anakin before we broke out in a fight right there.

Padme sensed the meeting coming to a close, "On behalf of the Delegation of Two Thousand I thank you Chancellor."

"I thank you for bringing it to my attention Senator," Palpatine said nonchalantly.

I just snorted, "Come one Fayanna we shall go with Senator Amidala."

We followed them out into the hallway, "Something doesn't seem right Master," Fayanna said looking up at me.

I nodded. "Yes I know Fayanna, but your going to have to trust me. Promise me that if anything happens at the temple that you will page me. Only when you are there alone of course." She nodded. "Good."

"November we are having a meeting. Bring your Padawan," Padme said nodding at Fayanna.

I smiled, "Why wouldn't I?" Padme just smiled back.

Everything was changing. The good times were coming to an end, and dark times were approaching fast. It was time to rip off my cloths and reveal superwoman only to be taken down by kryptonite. I sighed at the thought.

A/N: Hey y'all Song: Someone's Watching Over Me By Hilary Duff. I know it's childish but hey don't blame me. Much love to the reviewers. Keep it up guys!


	6. Author's Note

A/N: Hey fans listen I just saw the problem with chapter two so i have to rewrite the whole chapter over because my computer is a complete poopy head oh well anyway i promise to have it up by Friday as the latest im sorry for the inconvenience


	7. An Angel Falls

Live or Die

Allie Helms

Chapter Six

An Angel Falls

It's too late to turn back.

Fayanna and I walked into Padme's Senate office. I took my place standing looking out the window. "He knows what we're up to," I said.

"How could he?" Bail asked.

I turned to look at him, "He is not who you think he is. He knows, and will probably try to destroy us."

"Who is he then?" Mon asked.

I smirked, "If I told you then I would have to kill you." She just stared. "We need to keep quiet for sometime. Just so he doesn't start snooping around." They nodded.

"Meeting adjourned," Padme said.

Fayanna and I started to head for the Temple. "What was that about?" she asked.

"None of your sorts. Curiosity killed the cat. If someone wants you to know then someone will tell you," I said. She nodded in response.

I dropped Fayanna off at the temple, and started to head back to the apartment for lunch. Anakin was not there when I returned. I took out some food and set it on the stove. I went into the bedroom and washed my face. When I came out Anakin was out on the balcony.

"What was that back there?" he asked turning towards me.

I made my way back to the kitchen. "You are forgetting, Anakin, that I am a free soul. Palpatine wants to shut me up, but I won't let him."

"He wants to help you," he said.

I turned to him, "and Obi-wan wants to help you, but you won't let him."

"That's not the point."

"It's all in the same," I pointed out.

He sighed, "I'm sorry love. I've just been so worked up. Can you forgive me?"

"As long as you don't do anything stupid," I said. He smiled and kissed me deeply. Probably the last kiss I would get from him.

"Listen I have to go, but I will be back. I promise love," he said and I shook my head. He gently kissed my forehead, and headed out. I only caught a glimpse of his cloak bellowing out the door.

Just then a feeling of sickness coursed through my stomach, and I ran to the bathroom. I washed my mouth after the episode, and stared into the mirror. My face was strained from my choices, and my eyes were a dull granite gray. Almost like they used to be before I met Anakin. I then walked out to the bedroom and turned around to look at my scars through the hole in my jumpsuit. They were a pale pink against my tan skin. I sighed and went to go finish preparing my lunch.

! THREE HOURS LATER

The sun was setting now, and I stared out the window at the Jedi Temple. I could feel Anakin's presence so far away. I wanted to die right there. _Anakin _I whispered through the Force.

_Rose _I felt him in my head. We were connected, and I felt like I would collapse right then.

I started to think. I remember the first time I saw him. He was so handsome, and his smile almost killed me. I remember when he asked me who I was. I told him that I didn't know who I was but I knew my name. I remember when he first told me that he was the Chosen One the one who knew what would happen to me. I remember when he asked if we were friends, and I said sure. I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

I remember our first fight. It was about how he wouldn't tell me what was bothering him. Then we met Padme, and it was that night on the balcony when he told me about his mother, and I told him about my suicide attempt. I remember when I told him that death was just another path one that we all must take. I remember it like it was yesterday and not three years ago.

I remember the night we tracked the bounty hunter through downtown Courscant. I remember when she asked me why I wasn't afraid of death, and I told her that it was because I was already dead. I was numb to it all, and I didn't feel anything. Nothing could touch me.

I remember the first time I sang to him. The song was Once Upon a Dream. For some reason I did know him from my dreams. He was the angel I wanted. I remember when I was done he asked me who I had killed. I told him about Robert and how he treated me. I remember him comforting me, and rapping his arms around my waist. We fell asleep like that. I didn't have a nightmare that night.

I remember when I first walked through Naboo. I compared it to my country's capital, but I was unruly and couldn't be compared to anything. I remember when we met with the Queen, and how royal and noble she was. I remember the first time I told him I loved him. It was before I thought I was going to die, and I don't regret it at all. I told him that I loved him and that I always will.

I remember when he told me I could let go of everything. That he would be waiting for me forever. I remember him giving me strength to let it go. I remember our first kiss. It was sweet and harmonic. It was the first time I felt free of my slavery of my past. I wasn't holding onto anything anymore, and he helped me to let go.

I remember singing to him on Naboo. Love me that's all I ask of you. It was our motto and we lived by it. I remember telling him it was and opera and that it was loud, and his response was I don't care I just want to hear you sing.

After his mother died I remember him asking me why she had to die. I told him about how people were complete, and fate ruled the completeness of people. I told him to remember the good times he had wit her. He needs to remember these good times too.

I remember when we were captured, and we were going to be executed. I remember the beast they had been assigned to me for my execution. It was my demons in all. My pride, my beauty, my bitterness, my freedom, and my past put in to one. I remember putting the poor creature to its death.

I remember when he proposed to me with the ring I wear now. I remember how he had asked me all those questions, and I was catching on. I remember when he said it would have to be secretly, but I told it that it couldn't be. I didn't think that it could be that way because the Jedi knew.

I remember when we got married. How our vows seemed so perfect, and it was just like a fairy tale. I remember my black and white roses. I remember Obi-wan giving me away, and the love I felt flow through me when we kissed.

_I can't do this. _I felt him leave me. I was alone like I feared. I was always alone I life. Anakin was my one savior and he was gone.

! AN HOUR LATER

I had changed into a black nightgown. I looked out to the Jedi Temple, and noticed smoke rising from the building. It was then that my worst fears had been realized. I started to cry, and I began to sing.

Ah, look at all the lonely people

Ah, look at all the lonely people

Eleanor Rigby picks up the rice

In the church where a wedding has been

Lives in a dream

Waits at the window wearing the face

That she keeps in a jar by the door

Who is it for?

All the lonely people

Where do they all come from?

All the lonely people

Where do they all belong?

Father McKenzie writing the words

Of a sermon that now one will hear

No one comes near

Look at him working, darning his socks

In the night when there's nobody there

What does he care?

All the lonely people

Where do they all come from?

All the lonely people

Where do they all belong?

Ah, look at all the lonely people

Ah, look at all the lonely people

Eleanor Rigby died in the church

And was buried along with her name

Nobody came

Father McKenzie wiping the dirt

From his hands as he walks from the grave

No one was saved

All the lonely people

Where do they all come from?

All the lonely people

Where do they all belong?

I wept some more, but only for five minutes. I had to do something. Just then my COM beeped. "Yes," I spoke into it.

"November," it was Fayanna.

"Fayanna is everything alright?" I asked urgently.

"No, November it's Anakin," just then I heard her scream.

Moving quickly I ran into the bedroom changing into a black and white jumpsuit. Clipping my lightsabers to my belt I ran out the door. I got into my black speeder, and sped off to the Senate building. When I reached the Senate office I saw two guards standing on either side of the doorway. "You may not come in," they said.

"Piss off!" I yelled in rage.

They quickly ignite there electro spears, "We said you may not go in. We are ordered to kill you if you try."

"Bring it on," I said taking my lightsabers to form and 'x' over my head. The guards didn't move fast enough. Before they knew it they were headless on the floor. I then burnt an 'x' on both of their chests. "That is so they know who killed you. I'm sure when you roam headless in hell you won't forget," I said sinisterly.

I walked up to Padme's office, and buzzed. "November come in," she said through the speaker. I entered in a second. "How did you get in? There are guards that won't let anybody in or out," she said.

"I came in the old fashioned way," she just stared. "I killed them Padme." Then she nodded. "Do you have working communications?" I asked.

"Yes," she said alarmed. "Why?" she asked.

"I can't explain now. Where are they?" I asked. She pointed, and I walked over there. I typed into the datapad Obi-wan's signal, and it searched. "Yes," I heard a whisper.

"Obi-wan it's November," I said quietly.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

I shook my head, "No. Obi-wan it's Anakin he has attacked the Temple. I think he might have killed Fayanna. Oh Obi-wan I knew this would happen. He was so scared of losing me that he trusted in the Chancellor, and now the Chancellor told him with the power of the Dark Side that he could save me."

"Okay as soon as I can find a transport I'll get out of here. Commander Cody opened fire upon me," he said.

My eyes grew wide, "Order sixty-six has been activated."

"What?" he said.

"Order sixty-six is the order that when they were created was put in to kill the Jedi. These clones were made for the Empire," I said.

"November we have company," Padme said blaster at her side.

I turned around and saw clones breaking through the doors. "Obi-wan I will tell you when you get here. Contact Yoda if you can, but I sense that he is already heading here," I quickly turned off the communication system, and turned around lightsabers ablaze.

"So, what do we want to call these?" Padme asked.

They were almost through the doors, "Clone kabobs."

They broke though, and I met them as blaster fire erupted through the office. Padme's aim had gotten better since she took out two of the four clones. I had already decapitated the head of one clone, and then I kicked the last one in the stomach sending him to the floor unarmed. "What do you have to say for yourself?" I asked my lightsabers at him throat.

"You should die along with your other friends," he said. I stopped breathing for a moment. The Jedi were dead. Just then I heard a blaster fired, and looked up to see Padme holding the gun. I then looked down to the clone and saw him dead.

"Thanks," I said. I burnt and 'x' on all four of the clone troopers. "What has he done?" I whispered to myself.

"November, what is going on?" Padme asked.

I looked at her my eyes red, "I will explain on a later date, but right now . . ."

"Padme, November I'm so glad you are alright," Bail said walking through the hole in the door. "What happened anyway," he asked.

"We'll explain later," Padme said taking my hand and putting her pistol away.

Bail nodded, "I have made contact with Obi-wan. He will meet us at my ship. Come on."

"I will meet you there. I have to get somethings from my apartment," I said.

They nodded as I walked out.

! AT THE APARTMENT

I took my suitcase in hand, and walked over to a picture of Anakin and me on our wedding day. We were dancing to a prerecorded song of All I Ask of You. I shut if off and brought it with me. I then went over to the bedside table, and got out my journal. It was my only source of the past now.

I turned off the lights, and took a last look at the empty apartment. All I saw was despair to come.

A/n: **starts to cry** I'm so sorry for the sadness, but it was coming. Review.


	8. A Jedi's Secret

Live or Die

Allie Helms

Chapter Seven

A Jedi's Secret

I would tell you the truth but it would make me cry.

! TWO DAYS AFTER THE ATTACK ON THE JEDI TEMPLE

Two days had pasted since the last time I saw Anakin. The Jedi Temple was still burning, and so was my heart. I missed him, and I couldn't stop thinking about him. I know he was wrong about doing all this stuff, but I still loved him.

Padme stayed with me for most of the two days. She sang to me quiet little laments, and I tried so hard to hear them, but I couldn't. My mind was bogged down with all the different aspects of life, and I couldn't eat.

Yoda and Obi-wan arrived early in the morning yesterday. They got some sleep first, and were waiting in the conference room. I was waiting outside for them to let me in. "Lady November, come in please," Bail said poking his head outside.

I nodded, and walked in. I saw Obi-wan and Yoda sitting around the white table. They nodded at me, and I faked smiled at them. I looked out the window to the stars. I took a deep breath, and began to speak. "How many other Jedi have survived?"

"Hear from no one, have we," Yoda replied.

Bail heaved a sigh, "I saw thousands of troops attack the Jedi Temple. That's why I went looking for Yoda."

"Have we had any contact from the Jedi Temple?" I asked my back still facing them.

"Received a coded retreat message we have," Yoda said.

Bail nodded, "It requests all Jedi to return to the Temple. It says that the war is over."

"Well, then we must go back! If there are other stragglers, they will fall into the trap and be killed," Obi-wan pointed out.

"It's too dangerous," Bail said concerned.

I turned around, "Dangerous or not we have to get in there to change that signal."

"We need a clearer picture of what has happened here," Obi-wan said.

Yoda nodded, "I agree. In a dark place we find ourselves . . . a little more knowledge might light our way."

Just then my COM beeped. "Yes this is Lady Jedi November."

"November, it's Fayanna," she said.

My eyes grew wide, "Fayanna thank goodness you're alive."

"I'm hiding in the temple. The clones they're everywhere," she said breathing heavily,

"Where exactly are you?" I asked.

I could feel her smile, "I'm in plain sight. I'm in the council chambers. I have jammed the door so they can't get in."

"Good job. Are there any other survivors?" I asked.

"No," she said sadly.

I nodded, "Fayanna Master Kenobi and Yoda are with me and we are composing a plan we will get you out of their I promise."

"Please hurry," she said, and she beeped out.

I looked at Obi-wan, Yoda and Bail, "We have to get in there."

! AN HOUR AFTER CONTACT

Obi-wan, Master Yoda, Bail, Padme and I were riding in the cockpit of Bail's ship entering the atmosphere of Courscant when the pilot informed us of a message from the Chancellor's office. "Send it through," Bail said.

Just then Mas Amedda appeared on the screen," Senator Organa, Senator Amidala the Supreme Chancellor of the Republic requests your presence at a special session of Congress."

"Tell the Chancellor we will be there," Padme responded.

Mas Amedda nodded, "Very well. He will be expecting you."

Bail turned to us. "It could be a trap," he said.

Obi-wan shook his head, "No I don't think so. The Chancellor will not be able to control the thousands of star systems without keeping the Senate in tact."

"If special session of Congress there is, easier for us to enter the Jedi Temple it will be," Yoda pointed out. I shook my head.

! THE JEDI TEMPLE

With a flash of my lightsabers I took down another clone. These clones used to fight for me now they fight against me. I force pushed three of them, and then force choked one till he fell on his knees. Obi-wan Yoda and I worked together to destroy them. When all of them were destroyed Obi-wan turned to us. "There are several battalions of Clone Troopers on ever level. Many are dressed as Jedi," he said.

"Then we have to work quickly to get Fayanna, and dismantle the signal," I said. They nodded, and we entered.

As we walked through one of the huge main hallways of the Temple we came across bodies of Jedi strewn about the floor. "Not even the younglings survived," Obi-wan said squatting down to look closer.

I just walked away a couple paces with my back to them. I didn't want to see that. The destruction my husband had caused killed me everytime I saw a body, or a piece of a limb. He was no longer Anakin Skywalker, but Darth Vader.

"Killed not by clones, this Padawan. By lightsaber he was," Yoda announced.

Obi0wan looked at him sadly, "Who? Who could have done this?"

"Lady November I believe an answer she has," Yoda said.

I felt Obi-wan's face look into my back. I felt stripped like everybody could tell what was happening inside me. The conflict the power. It hurt. "November, who?" Obi-wan asked.

I looked down, "Darth Vader, Darth Sidious' apprentice."

"The Sith. How do you know this?" he asked me.

More questions and answers I would have to riddle to him. "I know them."

"How?" He asked.

"Obi-wan enough, that is," Yoda said. "In time your answers will be revealed."

Obi-wan nodded, and we went on. We took the elevator to the top floor to where the Council chambers where located. When we arrived at the door I knocked on it. I heard nothing. She probably thought it was a clone. I took my black lightsaber and cut a hole into the door. I saw her sitting in my seat of the Council room. I ran to her, and hugged her. "November! I'm so glad you've come. I was beginning to think you gave up," she said worried.

I shook my head, "No sweetie. No! Never. Come on we have to dismantle the security jam."

She shook her head. All of the sudden blaster fire pierced the air. One blast hit her, and I quickly deflected the second blast. When the clone was dead I looked down at Fayanna. "I'm so sorry November," she said quietly.

Tears were welling up in my eyes, "No you can't leave not at such a young age. Fayanna, stay with me. I have nobody if you're gone. Love?"

She took in her last breath and breathed it out again. I just sat there stunned. In the course of two days I had lost my husband, the Order, and my Padawan. I couldn't stand this. I was powerless to stop Sidious. I wanted to kill him.

"November, come you must. Do not weep, one with the force she is," Yoda said with a hand on my shoulder. I nodded, and stood up with rage.

I waked out into the elevator, punched in the button for the security floor, and waited for Obi-wan and Yoda to get on. When they did I sent the elevator down. When we landed Obi-wan quickly walked over to the security code.

! THIRTY MINUTES LATER

Obi-wan was walking back from the security strip, "I've recalibrate the code warning all surviving Jedi to stay away '

"For the Clones to discover the recalibration, a long time it will take. To change it backs, longer still. Hurry," Yoda said.

Obi-wan then walked over to hologram area. "Wait Master. There is something I must know."

I turned my back to them once again. "If into the security recordings you go, only pain will you find," he said.

"I must know the truth," Obi-wan said.

As my back was turned I could hear the clash of a lightsaber then a conversation between Anakin and Palpatine.

"The traitors have been taken care of, Lord Sidious."

"Good, good. You have done well, my new apprentice. Do you feel your power growing?"

"Yes, my master."

"Now, Lord Vader go and bring peace to the Empire."

"I can't watch anymore," obi-wan said shocked. "This was your secret wasn't it? Three years ago you said you didn't know about the Chancellor, but you did. You knew everything. You traitor!"

I turned around. "Obi-wan I couldn't tell anybody. There is a reason why all of this has to happen, and you have to trust me," I said.

"Not her fault it is. Nobody's fault it is," Yoda said. "Meant it to be, fate did."

"Yes, but he did it for me," I said.

Obi-wan looked at me, "What do you mean?"

"He is trying to save me from certain death," I said.

"Destroy the Sith, we must," Yoda said.

Obi-wan shook his head, "Send me to kill the Emperor. I will not kill Anakin."

"I will go to take care of Anakin," I said.

"To fight this Lord Sidious, strong enough you are not," Yoda said.

"He is like my brother. I cannot do it," Obi-wan said.

"Twisted by the dark side, young Skywalker has become. The boy you trained, gone he is. Consumed by Darth Vader."

"How could it have come to this?"

"To question, no time there is."

"I do not know where the Emperor has sent him. I don't know where to look," Obi-wan said.

"He has gone to Mustafar," I said.

They nodded. "May the Force be with you," Yoda said to us just before we exited out of the security floor. _I hope so._ I thought.

A/n: Hey hope you guys like. There will be nine chapters, and an epilogue. I might be doing another story after this one, but I'm not sure we will see. Last chapter's song was Eleanor Rigby by **says in British accent **the Beatles. Go Beatles. Lol review


	9. If It Should End in Hell

Live or Die

Allie Helms

Chapter Eight

If It Should End in Hell 

Humans are the only species capable of endless evil and cruelty, but also endless compassion and endless love.

_I looked down the slope of ash to Anakin. He had no legs and now no arms. He was clawing with his robotic hand to inch up towards me. Just then his tunic caught fire, and he burst into flame. Tears flew from my eyes as I screamed his name. "I hate you!" he shouted. "No!" I screamed. He was dying and I couldn't do anything I then felt a hand on my face. Then my eyes opened._

"November, are you all right?" Obi-wan asked.

I shook my head, "I'm fine."

"You were having a nightmare," he said.

I looked at him, "I'm sorry I thought I was having a dream about lollipop's and sugar canes."

"I can understand your bitterness, but you have to clear your mind. We need a plan before we land," he said.

"I want to talk to him first. When I think I'm done I will give you a signal," I said.

He shook his head. "No, he is dangerous. You should not go alone," he said worried.

"Obi-wan, he did this for me. Do you really think he will kill me? No, maybe I can be of some help," I said.

He nodded, and I walked back to meditate.

! AN HOUR LATER

I was taken out of my meditation by the alarm of the hyperspace drive. We were approaching Mustafar, so I made my way up to the cockpit where Obi-wan was pushing buttons and controls. I looked out across the red planet, and I felt the evil rise up to meet the spacecraft. We landed on one of the landings, and I looked out across the lava pits. I then saw a figure on a walkway take his hood of his cloak off his head. I saw it was Anakin. I got up and rushed off the landing of the ship to meet him. When I was outside the ash filled air reached my lungs. Anakin ran up and hugged me. The he kissed me deeply. I would never forget that kiss. "Anakin!" I said.

"It's all right you're safe now. What are you doing out here?" he asked.

"I was so worried about you. I know everything," I said.

"What do you mean know everything?" he asked.

I looked down at the ground, "I know you turned to the dark side. I know you killed younglings."

"Those are just rumors," he said.

"I saw them with my own eyes, Anakin. I knew what you were going to do ever since I met you. I knew what was going to happen," I said.

He turned towards the river of lava, "You knew. You knew everything. You knew about my mother, and you knew about this."

I nodded. "Yes, and I know what will happen from here on out," I said.

He turned around in rage. His eyes were flashing yellow, "You knew about my mother, and you could have stopped it all!"

"Yes," I said.

"I lost my mother for nothing! I'm here for nothing!" he said.

I shook my head, "There was a reason for my deception, Anakin. This all has to happen for a reason. If I went and destroyed the Chancellor before we even got together then it wouldn't have turned out like this. It has to be like this whether you like it or not."

"You are a traitor to the Empire!" he yelled. "I hate you."

"Are you going to kill me love?' I asked.

He flung off his cloak, "Yes."

Just then I felt Obi-wan's presence beside me. "Anakin let go of the dark side," he said.

"You turned her against me!" he yelled.

I shook my head while reaching for my lightsabers, "No Anakin you did when you decided to take the path of those who don't deserve to live. Anakin you were deceived by a lie. You won't be able to save me because I am beyond saving at this point. Palpatine tried to kill me Anakin."

"You lie," he said igniting his own saber. Obi-wan followed suit. Anakin paced across the platform, and stopped before the edge. "I will kill you both if I have to." Then he did some jumps, and landed right in front of us. The battle had begun.

I noticed Anakin was more aggressive now. He lashed with rage, and almost certain doom.

The air was hot as we fought our way on the landing platform. We were all in perfect harmony to each other. I still loved Anakin, but I wasn't fighting Anakin I was fighting Darth Vader.

Anakin had dyed and I know that now. It was foolish of me to try and talk to him back. Power and evil consumed him. His bright loving blue eyes did not show that anymore. They were taken over by the sithly yellow that only had hate and anger.

We now moved into a small hallway. It was dark. I was in front of Vader, and Obi-wan was in back.

I now thought about what I was going to do after this was over. If I even survived this I would not be grateful. I came here on a mission to get Anakin back, but if I survived I know there would be no Anakin only a Darth Vader.

The ironic part of it all was Anakin did this to save me, but I was going to die anyway. If I hadn't of made that wish three years ago then maybe this wouldn't have happened. Was I blaming myself? No, but in secret I was.

Should I regret my wish? No, I shouldn't. If I hadn't of made that wish then I 'd living a horrible life. Since I made the wish I am here living a life I wanted instead of back home in New York wishing I had a better life. If it hadn't had been me it would have been Padme. So, either way it would have happened, but this was Padme wouldn't die. I would die instead. I liked it better that way. I was glad to know I was saving someone I loved.

But it wasn't Anakin I was saving. Most of all I wanted to save Anakin. I had never fallen for someone so hard before, but slowly I was dying for him, ever so slowly.

Now we moved into the control room where the dead bodies of the Separatists lay. Anakin put his hand up to Force choke me, but I blocked it with my own hand and the power of the Force. We held our hands like that with the Force in between them. Then we let go, and I flung over to one of the control panels. Anakin then looked at Obi-wan. "Don't make me destroy you, Master. You're no match for the Dark Side," he said angrily.

"I've heard that before Anakin but I never thought I'd hear it from you," Obi-wan replied.

I then Force leaped over to them where they resumed fighting. Our lightsabers were a blur of black, white, and blue. Obi-wan and I were on the defensive side. Anakin attacked us with every fiber of his being, and I asked myself where my loving husband had gone.

I yet answered myself with the same answer as I did last time. He had died, but then I thought about it. No, no he didn't die, because I would have died along with him. Maybe I was dying. I didn't know then, but I knew that there was good in Anakin or Darth Vader. It was there and I felt I deep within the confusion, and the angst.

We ended up knocking each other's lightsabers to the ground and went to hand to hand combat. I went and kicked Vader in the stomach. He got back up and took my legs out from under me. I quickly called forth my lightsabers as Obi-wan and Vader began to fight. When they both had their lightsabers we began again.

We made our way to one of the balconies of the lava planet. "The flaw of power is arrogance," I told Vader.

He looked at me, "You hesitate . . . the flaw of compassion."

We continued to fight down the narrow balcony to the end. Obi-wan was trapped at the end. He looked down around him, and saw a small pipe. He took a risk, and leapt. Vader and I followed after him. We tight-roped walked until Obi-wan jumped down to a thick pipe of superstructure. We followed.

We moved down the pipe, and I could feel the lava on my feet. When we made it to the end a spray of lava came and landed on the supports of the superstructure. Vader, Obi-wan and I ran for cover at the shelter on the end as the lava came pouring.

The lava was hot on my black and white jumpsuit. "Are you doing okay?" Obi-wan asked.

I shook my head. "Yes, I'm fine. Trust me I would let you know if I wasn't," I said.

When the rain of lava stopped we went back out to fight. As we were fighting the superstructure broke off, and I could hear the metal snap and break. Obi-wan quickly climbed as far up as he could get. Anakin followed after him getting hits in with me and Obi-wan. I had to put away one of my lightsabers to be able to climb. I felt the hot lava river run under our battling bodies.

With little swings of our lightsabers here and there we floated down the river. A little ways down I could see a lava fall. I looked up, and could see that Obi0wan saw it too. He grabbed onto a chain, and jumped gracefully off of the substructure to a small platform. I saw one too, and I grabbed the same chain, and did a double back flip to it. I was just glad I made it. Anakin followed after.

Anakin leaned so that his droid platform came close to ours. We continued the fight for a while then we stopped as I spoke. "I have failed you Anakin," I said.

"I should have known the Jedi were plotting to take over," he said yelling his hatred filled voice at us.

Obi- wan looked at him, "From the Sith! Anakin, Palpatine is evil!"

"From the Jedi point of view! From my point of view the Jedi are evil!" he yelled back.

I shook my head, "Then you are lost! I wish I could have helped you Anakin. I wish you could have told me, but you wouldn't. You had to be so damn worried about who to trust. I love you, Anakin, but my place is with the Jedi, and with the Rebellion!"

"This is the end for you my master and my love!" he yelled back. Obi-wan went, and jumped off his platform onto a bank, and with a small whisper of so be it I followed suit.

"It's over Anakin. We have the high ground," Obi-wan yelled.

Anakin's eyes shown with rage, "You underestimate my power!" Anakin then leaped with all his might, and as he did Obi-wan cut off his legs, and one good arm. He fell below us.

I saw my dream in front of my eyes. I looked down the slope of ash to Anakin. He had no good limbs now. Just then Obi-wan spoke, "You were my brother, Anakin. I loved you!"

"I'm sorry Anakin!" I yelled. "I loved you, but not enough to save you. You are not totally a lost cause yet. One day you will redeemed, and I will wait for you in heaven, but if you do not show up there then I will go to hell to be with you!"

Just then his tunic caught fire, and he looked up to us. I felt tears coming from my eyes. "I hate you!" he yelled. I nodded. I knew he hated me, but I still loved him, and I knew he wasn't telling the truth. I knew he still loved me. I just wish I could see it. I grabbed his lightsaber, and walked back to the landing platform with Obi-wan.

We boarded, and I looked out the window to what was now the burnt flesh of Darth Vader or Anakin Skywalker the man I loved. I looked out across the ash plains of Mustafar, and I saw the hell it all ended in. "He doesn't know," I whispered quietly.

Obi-wan came up behind me. "Know what?" he asked.

I turned towards him. "That I'm pregnant."

A/N: There you go guys. November is pregnant. Please review. I actually cried writing this chapter. I hope you guys like it.


	10. Life and Death

Live or Die

Allie Helms

Chapter Nine

Life and Death

And I know there will be no tears in heaven.

! NINE MONTHS AFTER THE BATTLE OF MUSAFAR

It was August 11th of what would be 2007 in my world that I left four years ago. I was lying in a hospital bed resting. That morning had given birth to two children. They were my twins and the twins of my husband who was long gone. One was a son Luke and the other a daughter Leia.

They were beautiful children. They had their father's eyes, and their mother's attitude.

I was staying at the new Rebel base of Yavin 4. The forest planet was beautiful, but not to me. I couldn't see the abundant forest, or lovely stars all I could see was Mustafar. It was burned in my mind. It haunted me wherever I went.

Why did he do this to me? I asked myself in my head. He loved me that's why. He killed off everything I loved. I felt tears come to my eyes. Ever since my return from Mustafar I had fallen into a deep depression I couldn't get out of.

I thought about the last kiss I received from him. It was all his love, evil, anger, compassion and confusion put into one. I could feel what he felt, and I was frustrating.

Yoda exiled himself to Dagobah. It was a swampy planet, but he was meant to go there. Obi-wan stayed with me, which I was grateful for. Padme also stayed with me. Her and I lead the rebellion side by side.

These past nine months I became quiet and didn't speak unless someone asked me a question. My thoughts seemed to always be bent on Anakin. He was my world. I had failed Anakin. Now I knew all he was was a machine that couldn't breath.

I stopped carrying my lightsabers around with me. I put them up along with Anakin's. Just then a voice took me out of my musings. "November," I heard the sweet voice of Padme. I looked at her in the doorway, and nodded. "Are you okay?" she asked.

I looked down at my journal, "Every time someone asks me if I'm okay it's just a reminder that I'm not."

She frowned at me then came and sat beside me on the bed. "What are you writing? Can I read it?" she asked. I nodded and handed it to her. She started to read it out loud.

My heart is burning my soul

The darkness welling up inside of me

Hurting thy mind

If only I could stay alive

Just a little bit longer to see thee

Just a little bit longer to hear thee's voice

My eyes are watering my tears

The passion building through my veins

Whoing thy lungs

If only I could walk

Just a little bit longer to have thee dance with me

Just a little bit longer to have the walk along the sand

My voice is rumbling my thoughts

The ambition piling up in my stomach

If only I could hear

Just a little bit longer to hear thee's breathing

Just a little bit longer to hear thee's eyes blink

My heart is burning thy soul

Thou darkness welling up inside of me

Hurting thy mind

If only thou could stay alive.

She looked up to me a little sad. "Padme," I began. "When I do die I want you to take Leia. She can learn a lot from you, and when you take her tell her stories about her mother and father . . ."

"No, November don't talk like that. You are not going to die," she said.

I looked at her. "Hey! I am going to die," I said tears coming into both of our eyes. "Don't do what Anakin did, but you take Leia okay. She will be safe with you. I want you to raise her on Naboo near the lake country. Do you understand me?" She nodded.

"Will you sing to me one last time though?" she asked.

I nodded, "This one is for you Anakin."

No more talk of darkness

Forget these wide eyed fears

I'm hear nothing can harm you

My words will warm and calm you

Let me be your freedom

Let daylight dry your tears

I'm here with you beside you

To guard you and to guide you

Say you love me every waking moment

Turn my head with talk of summertime

Say you need me with you now and always

Promise me that all you say is true

That's all I ask of you

Let me be your shelter

Let me be your light

You're safe no one will find you

Your fears are far behind you

All I want is freedom

A world with no more night

And you always beside me

To hold me and to hide me

And say you'll share with me

One love one lifetime

Let me lead you from your solitude

Say you'll need me with you here beside you

Anywhere you go let me go too

Annie that's all I ask of you

Say you'll share with me on love one lifetime

Say the word and I will follow you

Share each day with me each night each morning

Say you love me

Love me

That's all I ask of you

Anywhere you go let me go too

Love me

That's all I ask of you

At the end I broke down crying.

! THREE MONTHS TO THE DAY AFTER THE BIRTH OF THE TWINS

I was sitting in my room flipping through my journal. I then turned to look at my beautiful children. I walked over to their cribs. They were both sleeping. I looked over to Leia. He small stomach was moving up and down as she breathed. I smiled down at her with tears in my eyes. Then I looked over to Luke. He had his thumb in his mouth and was sucking away. I started to cry.

I walked over to the window and looked up to the stars. I saw a meteor shoot by, and it made me think of Anakin. I then walked over to my journal that I left on my bed, and took it over to my desk. I took a pen, and started to write a letter.

_Dear Padme,_

_Remember what I told you? I want you to take Leia to Naboo near the lake country, and raise her as your own, but I want you to tell her the good stories about her mother and father. Show her all the pictures you can of us. I just want her to know the good stuff. _

_I also have something to say to you before I die. Thank you. You befriended me when I was lost in a new world. You stuck by me when Anakin turned, and you put us with my sarcastic remarks. They say friends are the angels you can see, and you are truly an angel Padme. You were a great queen and even a better Senator. You brought peace to the Galaxy, and now the Rebellion counts on you to restore it. I know you will do well. _

_I believe there is something left for you. You will find love or fortune, and live a happy life. I just ask you one thing. Do not ever forget me. I love you like the sister I never had, and I will miss you when I'm gone, and whether I go to heaven or hell I will wait for you. I promise. I love you. _

_Love_

_Lady Jedi November_

_Rose Lee Skywalker_

_Dear Obi-wan, _

_Obi-wan I'm sorry I am going to die this way, but I can't live with the pain. I do love my children, and that is why I am giving them good homes._

_I want you to take Luke to Anakin's relatives on Tatooine. I want you to stay and watch over him, teach him the way of the Force, and tell him good things about his father and i. He needs to know. _

_I also would like to thank you. You saw something in me that I would never be able to understand. You gave me a life I just had to complete it, and I did. You are like my brother Obi-wan and I don't want to leave you, but we will meet each other in the Force someday. I know it. The ironic part was it all started with anger and ended with suffering. Thank you._

_Love_

_Lady Jedi November_

_Rose Lee Skywalker_

_Dear Yoda,_

_I know your wise words of in life the best revenge is living, but revenge is against the Jedi Code. So, I will not be living. I just wanted to say that I know what you mean by black and white. You said that, "Innocence you still have, is what white resembles. All that can destroy you, black resembles. Balance and out weigh each other can. If out weighed one is, the other can take over."_

_I know that in order for them to be balanced all the aspects within them need to be balanced. All the things that kept me innocent like Anakin, the Order, the Council and Fayanna had to be balanced. Well they all got off balance so I became off balance, and I t was innocence over destruction but destruction over innocence. _

_Thank you, Yoda. You were a true friend and mentor the best that I could have asked for. _

_Love_

_Lady Jedi November_

_Rose Lee Skywalker. _

_Dear Luke,_

_I know that when you read this the war between the Empire, and the Rebellion will be over, but I want you to know that I loved your father very much. He did things to help me in every way that you couldn't imagine. He was my savior._

_When you find out that he is Darth Vader I want you to know that he was lied to. He got confused, and everybody who was in that ordeal got confused, but him more than anything. Forgive him, and bring him back. He will be redeemed. _

_Love,_

_Your Mother_

_Lady Jedi November_

_Rose Lee Skywalker_

_Dear Leia, _

_I want you to be good for Padme, and I want you to find a perfect love. You will lead the Rebellion when you get older, and I will be very proud of you. The reason I died was not because I didn't love you and your brother. I did with all my heart. It's just the fall of your father hurt so much. You and your brother will be the only living Skywalker. _

_I love you sweetie, and what your father did doesn't mean he doesn't love you either. Just forgive him, and it will be easier to pull him back to the good side. I love you._

_Love_

_Your Mother_

_Lady Jedi November_

_Rose Lee Skywalker_

_Dear Anakin,_

_I'm probably going to ramble on, but there are things I want you to know. I still love you, and I know you are wrong but you are just living a lie you have not yet discovered. I love you. I swear that's true I could never live without you. That is why I am dying. _

_Anakin, evil is always possible, and goodness is eternally difficult, but you still have to find the good in you. _

_Do you remember our love? Remember our love was forbidden, and the Council let it happen anyway? The reason I love you is you saved me. Our code was a Jedi shall not know anger nor hatred nor love, but we knew each one of them by heart. We lived them and breathed them. They were our life, and I don't regret it. Do you? I hope not. _

_I can't stand to think about what might have been. We would have a lovely life with our children. We would be raising them by the lake on Naboo. It would be a beautiful, but we aren't fate made us this way. _

_And I want to hate you so bad but I can't. I love you too much to have room for hate. I also tried to erase every part of you, but the scar you left behind will always remain, and remind me of our love._

_When I hear the word love I think of you and me not like we are now, but together. I want to be with you to feel your kiss one more time, to love you one more time, to have your scent in my nose one more time. _

_Before love my heart was a black hole. After love I had no heart. I don't know which is better, but I know when I meet you in the Force you will be with me forever, and I will have a heart again. _

_I remember the first time I looked into your eyes. I saw what was missing from my heart. You were apart of me. You took me and molded me into the warrior I am today. Thank you for loving me. Thank you so much._

_And I know when I lay in my eternal sleep it will be full of faded dreams. I will never forget you though. I promise. You were my once upon a time, and once upon a time I danced with an angel, and the angel was you. You were my perfect love, and always will be. _

_Love me that's all I ask of you, Anakin. _

_Love_

_Your Wife_

_Lady Jedi November_

_Rose Lee Skywalker_

I was balling now. I then opened up to the front of the book and wrote a caption:

_To live is to love._

_To love is to die 1,000 deaths_

_And survive. _

I then closed the journal, and walked into the kitchen of my apartment. I took out a knife and went, and sat on the balcony. I pressed to blade to my wrist and cut a painful 'x' on it. "So they know I sent myself," I said.

Then I took the blade upon my breast, and pressed it down. I had pressed it all the way down when Padme and Obi-wan came in to see me bleeding all over my dress. They came rushing over. "The journal it's in my bedroom," I said in a whisper. They nodded.

"November why?" they asked.

I looked at them. "There is good in him. There is good . . . still," I said with my last breath.


	11. Author's Note 2

A/N: hey I just wanted to say to you guys thank you for everything the epilogue will be posted on Friday my birthday so it will really be special for me. I am also looking for ideas on what other stories you guys like to read about Star Wars. So give me some ideas and hopefully I can construct a new story. Thank you again for reviewing!


	12. Love Me That's All I Ask Of You

Live or Die

Allie Helms

Epilogue

Love Me That's All I Ask Of You

I'll see you and when I do I'll trace your lips with my fingertips cover your heart with my smile, and touch your soul with my tears.

Darkness swept over the galaxy that week. The news of Lady November's death spread like a disease. Many systems mourned her lost, but not as much as Naboo, Tatooine, or Courscant. They missed her even more because her spirit touched down on those planets. They felt her love and pain. They comforted her through her hardships. For she was an angel.

She once said that she considered Naboo her home. She said it was a peaceful place, a place she could live without worry. It was a place that she carried in her heart all the time. She loved the people the animals the scenery, and according to some of her friends she belonged there.

Naboo's night was her night, and so it was on this night of Naboo that night fell on her life. She said her fate was inevitable, that it couldn't be stopped. She was right. She was just as right as saying that Anakin's fall couldn't be stopped.

She truly loved him. She wanted to be with him forever, but nothing lasts forever she used to say. So, Anakin was her nothing.

Obi-wan and Padme landed the ship on one of the landing bays on Naboo. They brought her casket out of the ship. Padme was dressed in a deep purple dress. Her hair was half up with flowers for a crown. Obi-wan wore his usual Jedi robes, but wore a sad expression upon his face.

November's casket was open. She was laying her delicate form resting in everlasting sleep. Her expression was plain, but you could see all the love, pain, hate, and beauty in every line. She wore a black dress with white ivy coming from the bottom, and spreading across her dress as they dwindled up. It had a corset top, but was long sleeves. She wore a black veil as well. It covered her face, but you could still see it's luminous light. Her hair was spread about the pillow in which her head rested. Woven in the strands of black and blonde hair was purple ribbon, and string.

"Even after life she looks beautiful," Padme said looking down upon her friend's lifeless body.

Obi-wan nodded. "She is a beauty."

At this they attached her casket to horses. "She told me once that she wanted to be cremated," Padme said to Obi-wan.

"Then cremation it is," Obi-wan replied.

They took their place behind the moving casket, and behind them was Queen Jamilla. She was dressed in a blue Kamino with her normal face of white. She wore a dangling headdress of silver, and had drops of blue makeup coming from her eyes like tears.

The horses pulled her through the whole of Naboo where crowds had gathered on the streets to see the sleeping form of the peace fighter angel. As the casket rolled through the streets November kept safely with her, her journal and her black and white heart shaped engagement ring.

People cried great tears, and it was great tears that made people weep. Padme had a single silent tear come down her lovely cheek as she followed her friend. November had told Padme everything about Anakin, herself, and her dreams. Padme was the secret keeper, but today would be the day when all the secrets of November Rose Lee Skywalker would open the world, and her heart.

As the casket came up upon the crematorium the horses slowed down. Then Obi-wan and another man came and picked November from her casket, and set her down onto the crematorium block. When she lay lifeless upon the crematorium block Obi-wan took her leather bound black and white journal from her delicate hands, and handed it to Padme. He then bent down and kissed November on the forehead. "Sleep forever November. You will always be apart of us," he said bowing.

Padme then came took one of her hands and with tears in her eyes she sang softly.

She wants to go home

But nobody's home

That's where she lies

Broken inside

With no place tog go

No place to go

To dry her eyes

Broken inside

Padme then took the steps to the podium set up for the speaker. Once she approached it she dried her tears, and looked out to the people who gathered. "I want to read the last poem and thing she wrote in her journal.

The scenery hits,

The fallen eyes,

The coward love,

The hallowed lies.

The split stream hits,

The time of destiny,

The broken memory,

The holy fantasy.

The dying love hits,

The lived love one

The hurtful pain

The unborn son.

The fate of beauty hits,

The death of a nation,

The awesome strength,

The time of salvation.

The light moon hits,

The solemn heart,

The brave soldier,

The fade apart.

'I wanted to say I love you to those who have lost me. I'm sorry, but this is my life. I may have not lived it right or wise, but it is still my life and I was proud that it lasted this long. I just want to say that Anakin I love you, and I will always love you. I want everybody who I have touched the lives of to read my journal, and I hope it finds it's way someday into the hands of Darth Vader. Phiat!' November was a wonderful woman and I was glad to have been apart of her life. She knew what was coming, and I think that is what hurt her most. Our work will not be in vain. We will restore peace to the galaxy for November."

"For November," the crowd said.

Obi-wan moved to get the torch from one of the crematorium workers. As he took it he could see tears in the woman's eyes. "Have faith," he told her, and she nodded in response. Obi-wan then took the torch and lit the under brush on fire which eventually spread to November's flesh. As her ashes sparkled in the moonlight her spirit moved through the crowd. Her soul was saved, and she was one with the Force.

! NINE YEARS LATER ON NABOO

"Broken hearts never die they stay in the chest of the lonely and continue to play host slowly killing the body. There is no life without love. They coexist in one. We all feel empty without it, but there was one woman who could do without that was until she met a man that would change her life forever. That was this story, and the woman in question died because of love.

Love was the very thing she feared above all else. She was afraid to give her heart and yet afraid not to. She didn't believe until this man came along. He taught her to love and taught her to hate. He taught her to deal with the past and heartache. But most of all he taught her how to die. So, because of him she did.

But she never stopped loving him. She never even tried. She bore his children, and killed herself so she wouldn't have to live with the pain. She once promised him she would never hurt herself again and sometimes when you lay in a distant meadow on Naboo, and look up to the stars you can see one lonely angel waiting for her love to rescue her once again," Padme finished.

The little girl about nine or ten was lying in bed listening looked up at her with big brown eyes. "Oh Aunt Padme that was a wonderful story. Who wrote it?" she asked.

Padme closed the black and white leather bound journal, and looked down at it then looked back up to the girl. "A very wonderful woman, Leia. You will learn of her when you get older. She died so the galaxy could be free. She was one of my friends, and I miss her very much. Now if you will excuse me, but you need to get some sleep," Padme told her placing a kiss on the girl's forehead.

! A WEEK LATER TATTOINE

"I think Darth Vader is evil," a little boy said lying in bed. He seemed to be about nine or ten, and he had a sad look on his face. "Uncle Ben who wrote that story?"

"Oh a wonderful women. She was smart, funny, sarcastic, and deep," he said.

The boy looked surprised, "You knew her?"

"Yes," came Ben's reply as he shut the black and white leather bound journal. "I knew her Luke, and you will soon know her too. Now you need to get to sleep." Luke nodded and settled down into his covers.

! SEVENTEEN YEARS LATER ON THE EMPERIAL CAMP ON ENDOR

Darth Vader closed the leather bound black and white journal, and his mechanical breathing shuddered. Then his deep mechanical voice spoke, "I miss you. I tried to save you, but I was too strong. I hope to find you someday."

Just then a commander walked up to Vader with a prisoner. It seemed to be a young man wearing all black with his hands in cuffs. He had blonde hair and deep gray blue eyes. "Milord this is a Rebel that surrendered to us. Although he denies it, I believe there may be more of them, and I request permission to conduct a further search of the area," the commander said. Vader turned his head to look at him. "He was armed only with this," the commander stretched his arm out and handed Vader a small oblong weapon.

Vader nodded. "Good work commander. Leave us. Conduct your search and bring his companions to me," he said his voice booming. With a quick 'yes milord' the commander walked away. Vader then turned to looked over to the man. "The emperor has been expecting you," He said.

The man's eyes came and met Vader's, "I know, Father."

"So you have accepted the truth?" Vader asked him.

They began to walk, "I've accepted the truth that you were once Anakin Skywalker, my father."

Vader stopped walking, and snapped his head to look at his son. "That name no longer has any meaning for me," he said sharply.

Luke looked up at his father. "It is the name of your true self. You've only forgotten. There is something I can't figure out though. It is how familiar your name seems to me. I know there is good in you. The Emperor hasn't driven it from you fully. That is why you couldn't destroy me. That's why you won't bring me to your Emperor now," he said trying to persuade Vader.

Vader then looks down to the weapon that was handed to him by the commander. "I see you have constructed a new lightsaber," he said igniting it. The emerald green blade hummed breaking the silence. "Your skills are complete. Indeed, you are powerful, as the Emperor has foreseen."

Luke looked at his father. "Come with me."

"Obi-wan once thought as you do," Vader said shortly. _So did November. He is so like his mother_ Vader thought. "You don't know the power of the Dark Side. I must obey my master."

"I will not turn . . . and you'll be forced to kill me," Luke said cunningly.

Vader and Luke started to walk again. "If that is your destiny," he said.

"Search your feelings father. You can't do this. I feel the conflict within you. Let go of your hate," Luke said trying to bring his father back. Just like his mother had tried.

"It is too late for me son. The Emperor will show you the true nature of the Force. He is your master now," Vader said.

Luke looked down, "Then my father is truly dead."

They boarded Vader's shuttle. Luke took a seat behind the pilot and the copilot seats. "Take off, and head for the Death Star," Vader said to the pilots.

"Yes, milord," they said.

Vader took a seat across from Luke, and set the journal on his lap. He ran his fingers across it remembering how much his wife loved it. Memories of him and November like the used to be flooded his mind making him understand what he did. Just then Luke spoke. "Where did you get that journal?" Luke asked.

"What?" Vader began. "Obi-wan gave it to me before he died. Does it mean something to you?"

"I remember Obi-wan reading it to me. Anakin Skywalker, that's where it came from," Luke said starting to put the pieces of the puzzle together.

Vader nodded. "Yes, you are understanding."

"That is the story of my mother isn't it?" Luke asked.

Vader nodded again. "Yes," he said shortly. Luke didn't want to say anything more. He sat quietly composing a plan like his mother did on the memorable trip to Geonosis.

! THE EMPEROR'S THRONE ROOM ABOARD THE DEATH STAR

The elevator doors opened as Vader and Luke walked in. The throne room was dark, and up on a platform sat the Emperor cloaked in black. His sinister star pierced Luke, but he was going to stay strong for his mother. He was going to bring justice to her even if he couldn't bring his father from his darkness.

"Welcome young Skywalker I have been expecting you," the Emperor said as Vader bowed. Luke just stared up at the evil being in front of him. "You no longer need those." The Emperor waved his hands, and Luke's bonds unclasped and fell to the floor. "Guards leave us," the Emperor motioned to the guards at the elevator. They left their blood red cloaks bellowed out the door. "I'm looking forward to completing your training. In time you will call me Master."

"You're gravely mistaken. You won't convert me as you did my father. I will complete my mother's work in killing you. She deserves to see you suffer," Luke said angrily.

Darth Vader started to move up to his master. "Oh, no, my young Jedi. You will find that it is you who are mistaken . . . about a great many things," the Emperor said.

"His lightsaber," Darth Vader handed his Master Luke's lightsaber.

"Ah, yes, a Jedi's weapon. Much like your father's. By now you must know your father can never be turned from the Dark Side. So will it be with you. You know I did try to turn your mother, but she was weak and couldn't carry the Dark Side like your Father can," the Emperor was cutting close.

Luke's gaze got more hateful with every word from the Dark Lord. "You're wrong. Soon I'll be dead . . . and you with me. My mother was strong. So strong she could repel the Dark Side." Luke then looked down.

"Perhaps you refer to the imminent attack of your Rebel fleet," the Emperor said with a wicked laugh. "Yes, I assure you we are quite safe from your friends here."

"Your over confidence is your weakness," Luke pointed out.

"Your faith in your friends is yours," the Emperor commented back.

"It is pointless to resist my son," Vader said with his mechanical voice echoing through the throne room.

"Everything that has transpired has done so according to my design," the Emperor waved his hand out to the window, and Luke turned to look. "Your friends up there on the Sanctuary Moon . . . are walking into a trap. As is your Rebel fleet! It was I who allowed the Alliance to know the location of the shield generator. It is quite safe from you pitiful little band. An entire legion of my best troops awaits them." Luke turned around sharply. "Oh, I'm afraid the deflector shield will be quite operational when your friends arrive." Luke didn't say anything. "From here you will witness the final destruction of the Alliance and the end of your insignificant Rebellion." Luke started to eyes his lightsaber sitting beside the Emperor his hate hurting like an open wound. _Think! _He thought to himself. _What would mother do? _"You want this, don't you? The hate is swelling in you now. Take your Jedi weapon. Use it. I am unarmed. Strike me down with it. Give into your anger. With each passing moment you make yourself more my servant."

Vader stared at his son in agony. He was so much like his mother in every way. She was a Jedi, but she had normal human feelings. She was diverse, and so was Luke. "No!" Luke shouted

"It is unavoidable. It is your destiny. You like your father are now mine!" the Emperor said with almost certain victory.

He shook his head. "No my mother has already told me what my destiny is." Then Luke turned around and looked back out the window.

After thirty minutes the Rebel fleet had reached the Death Star. They were caught in fire with the Empire. They didn't stand a chance. "Your fleet has lost. And you friends on the Endor moon will not survive. There is no escape my young apprentice. The Alliance will die . . . as will your friends," the Emperor said evilly. "Good. I can feel your anger. I am defenseless. Take your weapon! Strike me down with all your hatred, and your journey towards the Dark Side will be complete."

Luke couldn't take it anymore. He used the Force to grab his lightsaber. In one smooth motion he ignited it, and went to strike the Emperor, but instead of killing him Darth Vader parried the strike.

The Emperor started to cackle. "Good. Use your aggressive feelings boy! Let the hate flow through you," he said happily.

Vader and Luke then fight down the stairs, Luke then looks at himself feeling disgusted with himself. His mother would not approve of him fighting his father. "Obi-wan has taught you well," Vader said noticing his son's aggressive fighting style. Just like his mothers.

"I will not fight you father," he said.

"You are unwise to lower your defenses," Vader said attacking Luke.

They danced both a blur of emerald green and ruby red. They moved under a safety catwalk. Luke leaped, and landed on it. He was above Vader now. "Your thoughts betray you father. I feel the good in you the conflict," Luke said.

"Your mother used to say that, but there is no conflict," he said.

"You couldn't bring yourself to kill me before, and I don't believe you'll destroy me now," Luke said.

"You underestimate the power of the Dark Side. If you will not fight then you will meet your destiny," Vader said throwing his lightsaber into the air cutting the safety catwalk making Luke tumble into hiding. The Emperor just laughed. "You cannot hide forever Luke."

"I will not fight you," Luke said in hiding.

"Do you know that your mother fought me. She fought for me to come back to her. Give yourself to the Dark Side. It is the only way you can save your friends. Yes, your thoughts betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. Especially for . . . sister. So you have a twin sister. Your feelings have betrayed her too. Your mother was wise to hide her from me. Now their failure is complete. If you will not turn to the Dark Side then perhaps she will," he said.

"NEVER!" Luke yelled coming out of the darkness.

Vader and Luke fought. Hatred was seizing them both. Aggressiveness was passing through the air. They fought all the way to were the entered. Vader grew tired and dropped to his knees. With rapid fire Luke drived his sword with repeated blows. In one blow he took Vader's hand off. When he saw that it was mechanical like his own he realized how much like his father he was. "Good! Your hate has made you powerful. No fulfill your destiny and take your father's place at my side," the Emperor said cackling as he walked down the stairs from his throne.

Luke threw his lightsaber aside. "Never! I'll never turn to the Dark Side. You've failed Your Highness. I am a Jedi like my father . . . and mother before me."

The Emperor's emotion changed just as rapidly as a shifter could break. "So be it . . . Jedi," he said menacingly.

Lighting spread from the Emperor's fingertips hitting Luke square in the chest. The lightning went coursing through Luke's body making him convulse in pain. "If you will not be turned, you will be destroyed like your mother before you." He sent another burst of lightning to the weak form of Vader's son. Vader then stood up and stood off to his side as his master made Luke even weaker. The Emperor stopped for a moment. "Young fool only now at the end do you understand." With another hit of lightning Luke was struggling to hang on. The Emperor stopped again for another world. "Your feeble skill are no match for the power of the Dark Side. You have paid the price for your lack of vision."

With the lightning spreading his weakness Luke reached up to his father. "Father, please. Help me," he begged.

Luke started to convulse more. One more blow with Force lightning, and he would surly be dead. The Emperor stopped for a final time. "Now young Skywalker you will die . . . like your mother." This time the Emperor hit Luke with lightning but didn't stop. Vader found himself torn between two loyalties once again.

"Anakin help him please," the distant sound of November's voice flew through Vader's ears. In one smooth motion Anakin picked up his former master and flung him down the bottomless shaft.

The Emperor was gone, peace was restored to the galaxy, and Anakin found his redemption in his son just like his love said he would. Just like his love said he would.

! DEATH STAR'S MAIN DOCKING BAY

Luke dragged his father's body across the floor to the boarding ramp of his cruiser. He laid him down, and looked at his father. The Rebel fleet had hit their target, and they were running out of time. "Luke help me take this mask off," Anakin said weakly.

"But you'll die," Luke said worried.

"Nothing can stop that now. Just for once . . . let me look on you with my own eyes," he said.

Luke slowly took off the black mask Anakin had been hiding behind for so long only to find a scared old man. "No go my song. Leave me."

"No. You're coming with me. I can't leave you here. I've got to save you," Luke insisted.

"You already have Luke," Anakin said in a whisper. "You were right about me. Tell your sister . . . you were right."

"Father I won't leave you," Luke said. So Anakin drew his last breath, and his soul moved from the dark figure up to the stars. Luke then dragged the dead body of his Father up to the shuttle, and took off.

! STAR OF IEGO

November sat with Padme, Obi-wan, and Yoda waiting. It was judgement day on Iego today for Anakin. They were decided if Anakin's redemption was enough. Just then November got up and paced while ringing her hands. Just then the trumpet sounded, and she looked over to gates of Iego. In walked to Anakin she knew before he became Darth Vader. "My love," she said breathless.

Anakin nodded, and ran to her. He kissed her deeply, and hugged her while putting his head in the crook of her neck. "I didn't mean to," he said.

"I know. I know. I forgive you. Love me that's all I ask of you remember?" she asked.

"Love me that's all I ask of you, and you have my love," he said. Just then they turned to Obi-wan, Yoda, and Padme.

"We have to go," Obi-wan said to them. They nodded, and Padme watched there shimmering forms disappear.

! ENDOR EWOK CAMP CELEBRATION

The bonfire sparkled in the moonlight as Luke ran to hug his sister Leia. Then he handed her a black and white leather journal. "Did you ever read this?" he asked.

She nodded. "Yes, why?"

"It was mother's. This was her story," he said. She looked at him in amazement. "Come on," he said. Leading her off from the celebration. They looked towards a railing. The first figure to show was Obi-wan. His beard was still white and he was still wearing his Jedi robes. Then Yoda came. After Yoda was Anakin Skywalker before he was Darth Vader. He wore his regular Jedi robes, and beside him appeared Lady Jedi November Rose Lee Skywalker. She wore her wedding dress.

"Well done son," she said.

Leia looked at the beautiful form of her mother. "Mother?" she question.

She didn't say anything but nodded. Then the four figures disappeared.

Freedom and peace was brought to the galaxy by the work of one woman, her husband and her children. She took a dare for herself. She took a risk, and died for love. She was strong the whole way through, and never faltered. She changed the course of the future just because she had the strength.

It's a funny thing, fate. Nobody can try to stop it or even be successful at doing so. But fate has its own plans for us. We just never expected them to hurt so much. This was the beginning of the start of destinies. I had traveled through it all. So, did you read my tale, and cried, live, feel, witness, but most of all did you find the love I found in the man named Anakin Skywalker.

A/N: Hey I hope you really liked my story. I'm sorry Celtic Cross that I didn't to the sequels, but I will come up with an idea on the sequels if I can. So, be thinking of somethings okay. Read and review. Much love to all the people who stayed with me.


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